I think this line is mostly filler

G'Morning

2009-11-30T07:23:00.000-08:00

T'was neither the alarm clock, nor the radio kicking on, nor the hour
of the morning that got me moving today.

T'was the sound of a cat puking and the need to find the mess before I
forgot it existed and inadvertantly stepped in it later.

Oh, my life is rich.

Sent from my iPhone

How did THAT land in my cart?

2009-11-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

I went to the store for cat treats and came home with a cat from the Humane Society. Still not sure how that happened. The rest of the Posse is not pleased.

Facebook as digital plagiarism

2009-11-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

OK, I don't mind Facebook. I don't love it. I'm not obsessed with it. I do enjoy reading about what my friends are doing. I like the pithy comments most of all.

What I don't like? I don't like that so may people use FB as a retweeter system for posting every single damn news story they read. If I want to read the entire Huffington Post, I'll surf there myself and read it. In this day and age of digital news sources proliferating worse than H1N1, why do you think I need your help in finding news?

Even if you think the story is important or raises pertinent issues that should to be discussed, why do you think just posting a link to the story is enough to get that conversation going? You posted no thoughts of your own on the topic with the link so all I have is a headline. Here's where the methodology falls apart. You posted the link to a story about the obesity epidemic, the strains this puts on the health care system, the cultural movement to treat it as a disease rather than an individual's weakness at the buffet. You know what I saw in the link? A hilarious headline that said nothing more than Obese People Pushing Back. I laughed at the hilarity and didn't bother reading the story. Whatever point you thought you were making fell noiselessly into the ether.

How about telling me why you think the story is important? If you turned in someone else's work like this in school, you would have been in the dean's office so fast for plagiarism your head would spin. Simply reposting an article is not a far leap from the actions of the Dittohead army of Rush Limbaugh. You get a 0 for effort, let alone critical thinking.

You really needed more clues?

2009-11-12T07:39:00.000-08:00

You are in a bathroom.
You are at the sink.
This is on the wall above the taps.
You really needed that extra piece of info to tell you what's inside?

Top 10 Internet Laws

2009-10-24T12:34:00.000-07:00

1. Godwin’s Law
As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.

2. Poe’s Law
Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humour, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing.

3. Rule 34
If it exists, there is porn of it.
See also Rule 35: If no such porn exists, it will be made.

4. Skitt’s Law
Any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself.
Or: the likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster."

5. Scopie’s Law
In any discussion involving science or medicine, citing Whale.to as a credible source loses the argument immediately, and gets you laughed out of the room.
Whale.to is a conspiracy theory site which includes such items as the complete text of the anti-Semitic hoax Protocols of the Elders of Zion, as well as claims that Aids is caused by vaccination programmes, and that Auschwitz never happened. Clearly credible.

6. Danth’s Law (also known as Parker’s Law)
If you have to insist that you've won an internet argument, you've probably lost badly.

7. Pommer’s Law
A person's mind can be changed by reading information on the internet. The nature of this change will be from having no opinion to having a wrong opinion.

8. DeMyer's Laws: Zeroth, First, Second and Third Laws
The Second Law states: “Anyone who posts an argument on the internet which is largely quotations can be very safely ignored, and is deemed to have lost the argument before it has begun.”

9. Cohen’s Law
Whoever resorts to the argument that ‘whoever resorts to the argument that... …has automatically lost the debate’ has automatically lost the debate.

10. The Law of Exclamation
The more exclamation points used in an email (or other posting), the more likely it is a complete lie. This is also true for excessive capital letters.
According to Pratchett, five exclamation marks is an indicator of "someone who wears their underwear on the outside"

You want more info? Go here.

Found via Neatorama

Collaborative animation

2009-10-07T17:51:00.000-07:00

Nice walk

2009-09-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

I'm just posting this here so it's easy to find when I want to watch it again. This commercial would be an example of superb timing.

Farewell summer

2009-09-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

If only it were this easy

2009-08-31T10:43:00.001-07:00

Spin rinse repeat

2009-08-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

My first mistake was watching The T get into Facebook. That was a small step but a major one. I could feel my mind split into two. I followed her down the FB rabbit hole and now I suffer from online schizophrenia. This is just like in Stephen King's The Drawing of the Three, the second installment in the Dark Tower epic when Roland has two sets of memories those that really happened and those that also happened. There was a boy. There was no boy.

My mental split happens along the line my virtual existence. You should post that to your anonymous blog. You should post that to not anonymous facebook. Once that mental debate gets rolling, I turn on ye olde iPod and continue listening to the Gunslinger series. Hence, nothing gets posted anywhere.

FB is an odd world. Just what is a friend? Anecdotally some meatspace friends and I have meta-FB discussions about the environment of constantly checking in for status reports, the politics of who to friend and whom not to and which way the friend requests flow, the politics of accepting or ignoring or accepting and then quarantining friends. Granted, we also just post like crazy and continue this little run down the stairs (we've got momentum now and dare not look at what our feet are doing lest we fall).

But it seems strange to me nevertheless. What event is worthy of a status update? I enjoy hearing about what folks are doing but gosh and golly the sun is out and why don't we just meet for a cup of joe or a brewski and chat? Reading the feed is a weak substitute for face to face. I know I am not the first to say this but I am coming to understand it in my own time. I have selfish underpinnings. I think I am much funnier in the flesh. I like hearing people laugh at me or with me, it matters not most of the time. When the FB crowd does not respond with a "Jane Doe likes this', I feel like the humor fell flat.

My incessant feed checking is much like Tourette twitch. What is Sally doing right now? She hasn't posted in 12 hours is she all right? Should I call her? Should I call the police? OK, I agree that bringing in law enforcement is a bit extreme but I truly think I am wearing out the refresh button in my browser's URL box.

I've got errands to run and cat boxes to empty. Right after I read the feed one more time.

Back in school

2009-08-04T08:38:00.000-07:00

Here I am at a major research university in the Emerald City for a
week long class in how to lead discussions. Some of my colleagues
wonder I feel I need this class. I think the fact that I am
questioning my skills as a discussion leader reveals differences in
our perceptions of our classrooms. That is a blog topic for another day.

I love being in a university setting. There is an energy unique to
this setting I didn't know I missed. And you have to love that the
prof started us off by telling us where the best drip coffee on campus
could be found.

Caffeine is the fuel of academe.

Sent from my iPhone

And then we sleep, glorious sleep

2009-07-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

illustration for the August issue of Wired by Jason Lee

Link

I'm licensed to do what now?

2009-07-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

After about 18 hours spent in a classroom and on the, uh, range, I am now the proud holder of a motorcycle license. I also have a bit of a sunburn on the back of my neck. The latter I earned by tooling around a paved lot while never getting above 2nd-gear. The former was acquired the same way. I've spent some time reflecting on the whole experience—T says possibly too much time.

True to form, The T turned my commentary on the course into an example of learning theory. Let me explain. A student in the class said she was taking the class because she bought a 400cc scooter to ride to work and she'd heard that if she was caught on the road, it would be taken away. She does not have a permit for the scooter. She seemed to think that it would be impounded because it was a scooter. I tried to explain to her that it would be impounded because she didn't have a driver's permit to ride it on the road. I guess she didn't believe me because the next day when the instructor asked her why she was taking the class, she said the same thing. She wanted her motorcycle license because she thought she needed to get a motorcycle because a scooter could not be on the road. She did not understand the role the driver's permit played in the situation. The scooter is completely street legal. It would have been impounded because of the lack of a permit, not because it is not a motorcycle.

It was fascinating to me to watch how my suggestion of necessary paperwork was ignored. This is where T's learning lesson comes in. People, i.e., students, will hold on to their beliefs until they can mesh new information with their old (possibly incorrect) understanding to come to a new understanding. This woman had it in her head that it was the mere existence of the scooter on the road that was the problem and not the lack of paperwork. I wonder if she's shopping for a Harley right now because she still doesn't get it.

(Is this where I mention she is in the country on a green card and that little bit of paperwork she seems to understand just fine?)

When The T has talked about how people hold on to what they understand during our many education conversations, I've nodded my head and agreed. It makes sense. I've then walked into a classroom and wonder why my students make mistakes that were addressed and discussed previously. Their understanding of the math is similar to the scooter-chick's understanding of impounding: each party is holding on to what they know because new info has not been integrated into their belief structures—yet (hopefully 'yet'). Now I'm pondering my role as an instructor to help students with this integration of new info. This falls into Leading a Horse to Water scenario so I know I can't just give them the info and think that they'll immediately believe in it and integrate it and understand it. But how far do I lead? Do I walk right to the water? Do I just provide a map and compass? Do I try to come up with more detail in this analogy when I could be doing other things?

ponder ponder ponder

Never thought I'd use that nugget

2009-07-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

Last century when I was in middle school, my gonads dictated that I take Home Economics rather than woodshop. Well, it didn't take. I am helpless in the kitchen. I can struggle through pizza, popcorn, pasta, and reheating restaurant leftovers. My mother, on the other hand, can do some serious magic when it comes to cooking. When I was wee, her renditions of Leftover Surprise were stupendous (how leftovers ever existed in our family of six is beyond me). She had a few recipes that were cycled through every now-and-again and she has at least one soup that cannot be committed to paper since the main direction is "continue to add sugar and vinegar to the duck blood, raisins, and prunes until it tastes right." Yummy. I kid you not.

She had one cookbook that I foresaw even at a young age as the thing we four siblings might fight over at the reading of the will. My brother headed this feud off by getting all the sibs our own copies a few years ago. Good move, bro!

The Encyclopedia of Cooking was compiled by Mary Margaret McBride and has 1536 pages. My mother's copy is bound in hinged steel plates (my copy has a cover but it is not attached). It is massive. It has recipes on everything, including raccoon and other game. Lard is a major ingredient throughout the recipes. This is not surprising since it was published in 1959, the heyday of the Lard Era. It shows every kitchen gadget of the time and how to use it. It defines cooking terms, like "pasties." (I'm making those tomorrow.)

It also has a typo and I only know this because of what I must have picked up Home Ick, er, Ec over three decades ago. Fact: the ingredients in American cookbooks are listed in the order they are used. So the recipe for Rice and Cheese Croquettes that lists mayonnaise, flour, then flour again is in error. "Why is a self-confessed reheater making something she cannot pronounce?" I hear you cry. I was both drawn to the combination of rice and cheese and comforted by the fact that I knew what all the other ingredients were and that none were raccoon.

Anyway, the corrected typo should read: mayonnaise, flour and milk. The amounts of the ingredients isn't what helped me solve the problem. I know not how to make a sauce that will thicken and two tablespoons of milk would certainly be stiffer than 2/3-cup of milk, wouldn't you agree? Well, if you agreed, we'd both be wrong. It was the directions for how to add the ingredients to the saucepan that helped me solve the dilemma and use 2/3-cup of milk.

Now, if Ms. McBride had not been from deep in the heartland and perhaps had a habit of sipping a wee bit of sherry between steps and sounded a bit more like the Queen, I don't think I could have solved my dilemma. Apparently, cookbooks on the other side of the pond list the ingredients from greatest to least quantity used. I don't think I picked up this part of the factoid in junior high. Regardless, I would like to thank my teacher whose name is lost to me. Tomorrow's lunch of rice and cheese croquettes is a go. Dinner will consist of turkey pasties. Stop by for a nibble if you're in town.

Jump on this new networking opportunity

2009-07-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

One of the norms here in Meanwhile Manor is that toilet paper and Q-tips and tissues just seem to get replaced when they are empty or running low. We are believers in the Toilet Paper Fairy, as identified here in this Pickles comic:

So there is part of the back story to today's post. The other facet of the back story is that The T and I have been totally sucked into the black hole that is Facebook. We are currently having a good time and yet trying to figure out how to carve out time in our day where Facebook fits in. But I digress. To summarize thus far: we believe in the TP Fairy and we joined F'Book.

What follows is what you would have overheard had you been listening in this morning.

The T: Supplies are running low. It seems the the TP Fairy is slacking off.

Me: Distracted. Maybe the fairy is distracted.

T: By Facebook? The fairy is spending too much time on Facebook?

Me: TushBook. It seems more appropriate that the TP Fairy would be distracted by TushBook.

For the record, that is one social network I would not browse.

Well, this sums it all up nicely

2009-07-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

You don't say

2009-06-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Sir,
As per your letter last, I thank you for your ane compliments. Yet my eptness is useless in the task you have sent. Alas, though I chalantly try to answer your query and discern what a silhou is, I am as yet dumbfounded. I have info regarding a possibly related animal, however.

The following item is, of course, the famous creature of the silhouette family that is pandemically spreading over the globe right now, facebookus shadowus:

Facts so far: This chameleon-like creature is able to look like everyone and no one. It has an incredible rate of growth (increasing by 5 million per week; 150-million silhouettes worldwide), and each spawn—er, offspring seems to be unique from all others. It is masculine, feminine and Alfalfian. Since the sex of silhouettes is undetermined, we must be careful in assuming that of silhous until we observe one in the wild or capture one.

I have recently infiltrated the facebookus shadowus community and will begin studying behaviors, traits, customs, etc. more closely. As always, I'll send more info as it becomes available.

Now you tell me

2009-06-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Our gardener dude Duane (first mentioned here) came by to do a little work. I think I should mention now that (we just learned) he is a bit of a legend in the northwest plant community. We're somewhat lucky to have found him because we met him at a party and he works with a friend and we happen to live in the same zip code, etc. He's talented and we're thrilled. Anyway, it has been a while so I was happy to work on the lawn with him. I had a lot of pent up frustration from the tiling episode and I needed to do something physical that in no way was limited to staying inside the lines.

About six weeks ago, Duane came by and killed a third of our front yard. Yes, on purpose. He sort of cleansed the palate. Apparently he follows the starting from scratch methodology of urban jungle creation. Our front lawn has been one-third dead and dry and two thirds green yet dying with extensive clover. We've been answering the neighbors' questions of what our plans were for the dead dry strip with pithy responses such as: "oh, we just like that color better" or "we're going to pave it" or "it's a landing strip." A few replies like that and your neighbors will stop asking you what you're doing. I guarantee it.

On yesterday, Duane came by to roto-till the landing strip. I offered to help. My frustration over the tiling debacle made the prospect of swinging a pick very enticing. I picked all the sod and ripped it up and Duane ran the tiller and—voila!—in about four hours, the dead dry strips of grass became overturned strips of dirt with dead grass sprinkled throughout. And this is an improvement.

While we were taking a break, I mentioned to Duane that I was thinking of painting a runway or parking stripes or something on the dead grass just to tease the neighbors. He said there is paint meant for use on vegetation. It's used to mark out pathways or bed locations or somesuch and will degrade over time without harming the plants. In fact—get this—another client has been painting some ground cover green because it died almost immediately after he planted it. He went on to say, "yeah, but now even the paint doesn't look that good. (pause) I'm not a very good gardener."

Well, that's bullhockey and was very humorous because it is so exceedingly self-effacing.

I'm going to go rub some ben-gay on my sore pick-swinging muscles and look out over my strips of dirt on the front forty.

Lies, Damn Lies, and People Who've Tiled

2009-06-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

No! I will not set the float down and step away from the tile saw! I am going to stay right here until I am heard dammit.

"Tiling is easy" they said. Who is they, you ask? Everybody I've mentioned this little project to, that's who. "I'm tiling the bathroom," I would say. "Oh, tiling is easy. I did a wall/floor/basilica," they would reply. I believed. Why would they lie to me?

So I went and got books on how to tile and the history of tile and tiling made fun for the whole family. And I read these books and I believed. I could not find the lies. The books showed pictures of tiling done correctly. A few photos even showed what not to do. I thought this was great. I thought the books were on my side.

I still wasn't sure, though. I would stand in the bathroom and study the tub surround and then look at the books and then ask people questions and then go back to stare at the tub surround. It seemed the two worlds were not connected. The books were of one universe and my tub surround was of another. I was apparently the link between the two but I could not see how.

For example, the books said "mix the thin set according to the manufacturer's instructions." I looked at the package and read only "mix water and mortar for 5-10 minutes. Let stand for 5-10 minutes." No info on how much water or how much mortar. Back to the book for: "not too watery and not too dry." Swell. You know what? I'm not stupid. I understand extremes. I get it. But where is the in between? What is good enough?

I covered the floor and the tub with plastic and cardboard to protect everything for inadvertent mortar droppings. And it's a good f*&#ing thing I did because the mortar wanted to be anywhere but on the wall. You know what else is missing from the damn books: how to get the mortar from the bucket to the wall. What tool does that? Is it a tool I've already been loaned by the liars? The books show mortar on the wall, being smeared then combed. Books show no method for getting mortar on the wall in the first place. The bathroom looks like I'm trying to replicate the pyramids minus the large stones.

After day one of 4 hours and about eight tiles I stopped. I know myself. I need a day to process what I've done here and think about it and look at the books again and–Hey! I'll check out YouTube! Great idea!

Bullpucky. Will somebody please post a video showing the reality of tiling a wall? Nothing but f*&#ing success in those goshdarned videos. Nothing showing how to deal with really small spaces or tile orientation in interior corners or saving space for the corner shelf. Only big smooth walls being tiled by women in short shorts at double-speed or large floors being tiled by men who keep flashing their bellies (wtf?) when the camera is on them. Nothing showing how the damn mortar gets from the bucket to the wall without making a detour on the floor or a leg or other random object.

So to all you people who have said "tiling is easy" I say go jump in a bucket. You lied by omission. I'm calling someone who has the skills and understanding to bridge the gap between these fictional books and the reality that is my empty wall.

Hey!

2009-06-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

What questions do you have?

2009-06-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

Given the following image, what question(s) spring(s) to mind? Add 'em to the comments.

Found at Dark Roasted Blend

I'll get the ball rolling with: Where did the box come from?

Now let's define our abbreviations

2009-06-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

I believe the S in iPhone 3G S stands for shorter, not speedier. I may change my mind whence I acquire my own but for right now, here's my evidence:

Found at MacRumors.

Stylish Zoom Zoom

2009-06-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

As per her comment in Zoom Zoom, Frenchie came through with fierce footwear suggestions. I have to agree with her. I can think of no other word to describe these:

I am leaning toward the pair on the right with the rivets. The gold overlay also goes nicely with the Carhartt coat I've been wearing until I acquire a leather jacket.

Let's define our terms

2009-06-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while I was having the last vestiges of spring quarter stress worked from my back muscles by a very talented massage therapist, she asks, "You've read books and I suppose you think. Would you consider yourself a liberal thinker?"

I heard myself say, "What could I possibly have done to make you think you had to ask the question?"

Whatever the behavior/activity was, it must be corrected.

Yawn

2009-06-18T10:47:00.000-07:00

Two things for ya' right now. Both from Stranger than Fiction. Both make me giggle.

Thing 1: I love the scene when Will Ferrell and his buddy are talking about their superpowers. My superpower? Suspended animation. I am very good at it. Nothing can keep me from it. I only use it for good. I became good at it through practice. In fact, another practice session may happen this afternoon, for about an hour, on the couch, under a good book.

Thing 2: This has no connection to my daily life other than I walk around saying it, most times completely unrelated to whatever is happening at that moment: I brought you flours. Gah! It's hilarious. Hmm, maybe you need the visual. Go watch the movie then we'll talk.

This is where I roll

2009-06-17T20:05:00.001-07:00

This is less than 20 miles from my house. I still can't believe I live here.

Lessons learned

2009-06-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

Lesson the First, learned while riding Clickwheel:

Don't sneeze with the helmet face shield down.

Zoom zoom

2009-06-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

There's a new toy in the house. This is the first gadget I have ever bought with which I can cause physical harm to myself and others, text-walking injuries notwithstanding. I am now the zippy owner of a scooter named Clickwheel.

Original photo at Motorcycle Philippines

I've been riding it for about six weeks now and it is a hoot. What a blast! Zoom zoom.

Yes, zoom zoom indeed. And I haven't even gone faster than 30 mph yet! This speed limit has not meant a limit on unadulterated joy, however. I am restricted from, ahem, riding it like I stole it so that the engine is broken in correctly. After reading a little about this on the interweb, I am happy to maintain STL* speed in return for payback over the life of the engine in higher mileage and less pollution. I have only 200 more miles to go before I go to 31 mph and beyond!

I have washed Clickwheel. I have not even washed the Prius which cost seven-and-one-half times more money.

I have successfully changed Clickwheel's oil. This is an event that The T thinks of fondly as evidence that I am fried from the academic year. It took multiple trips to multiple stores for me to successfully acquire and return and try again to acquire all the materials I needed to swap used dinosaur juice for new dinosaur juice.

First I bought a drip pan and a funnel and oil. I stood Clickwheel up on her kickstand and quickly realized that the drip pan was not going to fit between the rear wheel and said stand. So the drip pan was returned. This accounts for two trips. I went to a different store to find a drip pan substitute. I found a six-inch wide roller pan used for painting. I also found a 21-piece socket wrench set with a 17 mm socket perfect for removing the oil plug. However, always the conscientious consumer, I looked around and found—for only a dollar more—a 40-piece socket wrench set. Nineteen more pieces for a buck? What a deal. I verified that the 17 mm socket was in the 21-piece socket set, placed it back on the shelf and made my way home only to return immediately once I realized that the 40-piece socket set did not have a 17 mm socket.

If the oil didn't need changing before, it sure as hell did now.

You might think that the story ends there. Depending on where you are on the Funny vs. Pedantic spectrum at this moment, you're either reading on for more or you may have already abandoned this page for something more entertaining. If you're still here, please laugh with me as I share with you what I should have thought of at the beginning of the oil saga: there is a tool kit in the stowaway zone. Yup, in the caboose where the iPhone charging port (!!) can be found is a collection of wrenches and other forged from steel items suitable for wrenching and other tasks associated with scooter engine maintenance.

I foresee future oil changes taking far less time.

* Sci-fi fans may know FTL as faster than light. STL would be the opposite.

I thought it was a little blue pill

2009-05-17T19:38:00.000-07:00

Seen at Home Depot:

Is "Fertilizer Spikes" some sort of pun?

Caffeine Wars

2009-05-16T11:45:00.000-07:00

Coffee holds a very important place in the life of The T. As the person who often makes the brew, I should know. I have been the recipient of both praise such as "I would move the planets for you right at this moment because this coffee is so good" and complaint such as "WTF?!? This could bring the water reclamation plant to a grinding halt."

This is the background for the taste test which occurred in the kitchen moments ago (since I'm taking the time to compose and spellcheck this blog entry rather than feed another tweet into the frenzy, does that make this old news?) I made a pot of brewed coffee and also a mug of instant. The instant was a sample of Starbuck's new commodity. The brewed was the same brew we've found The T can enjoy and not break the bank; it's some Cost-mo' brand. We did a blind taste test and The T made her choice between the mug with the rubberband and the mug without the rubberband. I knew which was instant and which was not. We then did a double-blind taste test where she switched or did not switch the rubberband and I chose between the two mugs.

I am shocked—SHOCKED!—to say that we both picked the instant coffee over the Mr Coffee-ed brew. Shocked! More study is necessary.

In the meantime, I asked The T which mug she would like to finish off. She picked up the brewed mug. "But I thought you liked the instant coffee better?" I asked.

"I do but I need consistency more."

Wow. Another beaten down consumer tucks her tail and huddles with hands wrapped around a mug.

Oh yeah. You blend.

2009-05-07T22:29:00.000-07:00

Sent from my iPhone

Happen in Threes

2009-04-27T20:18:00.001-07:00

The T and I were doing the we-have-no-kitchen-counter-space dance as we constructed the evening meal and I dropped some cottage cheese on the teeny tiny little rug. It really was a perfect shot. All that linoleum and the cheese lands right on the rug.

Me: What is my problem today with dairy products? I did a similar thing in my office this morning with yogurt.

T: Sorry can't help you. You missed a spot.

Me: Thanks. What's the third thing going to be? Should I go cow tipping just to get it over with?

If you'd been listening in

2009-04-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

The T, upon arising from bed: Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Me: What did you do?

T: I used my legs.

I was waiting for more information, like "I used my legs to kick the
bed" or something similar. None was forthcoming.

Perhaps the pain is related to the nine miles run yesterday. Perhaps.

Sent from my iPhone

Almost messier than ever imagined

2009-04-12T13:55:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, The T and I went on an adventure to the dump. While this might not sound like a good time to you, it was kind of fun for us. The main reason for the fun was the novelty: we had never been to the local dump before. I was excited to learn more about the intricacies and logistics behind waste management. Face it, for most of us, garbage disposal is a magical process which happens out of sight and out of mind. Only on occasion when a cat or raccoon or boogie-man knocks over the garbage can are we reminded of the mess surrounding the vast amount of things we throw away. I was curious as to how this is handled. And since I am a city resident who pays a fee to have my garbage hauled away from my yard and my conscious thought, I also wanted to see where my money was getting tossed. This trip was a long time in coming, also, if for no other reason than to get some crap out of the yard.

We loaded up the not-so-big pile of items we couldn't cram into our bin and headed off to the waste amusement park. As a diet-inducing maneuver, might I recommend weighing yourself while sitting in your car? You know you're surrounded by steel but seeing your 4-digit weight flash high in neon lights makes your pants feel tighter all the same. We found the three-sided barn which serves as the main depository before the trash is transferred to the big hole in the ground and a broom-pushing dude directed us to back in—pretty close to the pile, I might add. The smell alone encouraged us to not look at the pile too closely. Even though I was fascinated, this was not a place to linger. We opened the hatch, we each grabbed a side of the compact pile of debris (smell-free, I might add) and heaved it onto the pile...

... and this is where a disaster of monumental proportions was narrowly averted. I did a tiny countdown of "three... two... one" and tossed with all my might. The T, on the other hand, realized we didn't have to heave since the bulldozer would push the pile higher and so she was not prepared for my display of strength. I heaved while she was still hanging on. When our deposit landed, I glanced over to see The T doing a tap dance sort of routine to keep from falling into the stinking heap.

24 hours later, I'm still apologizing loudly and often for almost tossing her into the pile.

Last straw, anyone?

2009-04-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Hmm, there's been an earthquake in China, an earthquake in Italy, an active volcano in Alaska, North Dakota is flooded and frozen, and Oklahoma is on fire.

I have but one question: where are the locusts?

Laugh(ing) out loud ... still

2009-04-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

This comic panel wins the award! I don't know what award but it wins. Hands down.

I'm still giggling and snorting. My nose hurts—perhaps it has to do with the hot tea that came out through my nostrils.

I will no longer struggle to come up with the right word. This gives me permission to just insert the type of word that I need, not an actual word.

Comic panel from Dog Eat Doug (c) Brian Anderson

Simple suds

2009-04-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

The T and I are simple folk at heart. We have few needs and don't ask for much. For instance, neither of us can understand why some shampoos cost $10 or more for a 12-ounce bottle. What gives? The ingredients look the same to me. Well, we finally found a brand we really like about five years ago. It's inexpensive and our hair doesn't react to it after a week of use and go all insta-oily immediately aftering toweling off following a shower.

So far, our only complaint with this shampoo is that the marketing department seems to think that the bottle must change every eight weeks or so to keep the product fresh and in the face of the wandering consumer. For us, faithful customers that we are, this constant label tweaking means we have to hunt for the bottle every time we need to restock. There is this brief moment of panic when I think the brand has disappeared and then—poink!—there it is, plain as day in a new outfit. A heavy sigh usually ensues.

But the last trip to the ol' suds aisle has me dismayed. Not only was it hard to find the shampoo but once I did I noticed that the shelf space allotted to this brand seems to be shrinking. The UPC tags of the other brands are encroaching. I fear we will have to find a new brand. Oh, poop.

So I brought home a couple of constestants. If you'd been listening in, this might be what you heard:

Me: So what did you think of shampoo X?

The T: I thought it smelled a little like dead fish when you put it on your head.

Me: Hmm. Smelled like bubble gum or watermelon to me. This goes a long way toward explaining the differences in our ... (pause) ... food choices, I think.

A familiar tale

2009-03-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

You want me to sign what?

2009-03-12T11:15:00.001-07:00

The coffee stand on campus has a sign-up sheet for the Alliance for Animals that Eat You, or AAEY.

The manifesto is not provided. Is it pro-predator? Is it a movement to make more animals carnivores?

Sometimes I feel like an ESL student.

Permission to do anything

2009-03-09T17:04:00.000-07:00

It seems as if The T and I have managed to overcome our blockage regarding the Remodel (I capitalize it because it is going to be with us a long, long, long time). After not making any progress for many weeks, we've managed to cross four items off the list—the least of which was to make a list of tasks we have to do. This circular referencing has done the trick and I think the ball is rollin' now, baby.

Item #1 Make a list.
Item #2 Determine which of us will do what on the list.
Item #3 Make sure at least one of us is home when the contractors show up.

So far, so good. After much deliberation, the future woodstove has completely circumnavigated the first floor of the house and is going to be installed in the spot we originally picked out. Are decisions decided like this for all remodelers? I kid you not when I say the stove started in the middle of the southwest wall, slide to the north east to act as a room divider, perch in the southeast corner for a bit to admire the view, and then scoot over to the southwest corner to catch its breath before settling back where the journey began in the middle of the wall.

Now that that is settled, we can call Brien to start pounding out the construction documents and get a little more detail on paper.

We also asked a contractor to {cough cough} submit a bid for the bathroom out in the Taj Garage. Since we are so anxious to get the bathroom done out there that we're going to go with this gent who is a worker for our architect's father's construction business. He's a bit of a known quantity by Brien and we're anxious to have the plumbing room completed so we're going to accept his bid unless it's off by a power of 10.

We also met with our gardener. Didn't know we had one of those, did you? Well, we didn't know either until we realized he had us pegged perfectly after about 20-30 minutes of circling our lot with us. Our gardener, whom we'll call Duane, summed us up in one fell swoop when he pointed at me and said I like chaotic splashes of all kinds of color all mixed up and then pointed at The T and said structured color was more her speed. It was that accurate assessment of our design, er, styles that won him the contract to turn our drab city lot into a northern amazonian jungle, complete with wild felines.

We asked him where we should locate the outdoor cat enclosure. The grrllzz want to be outside and I want them to be contained and safe from traffic and the fleabags across the street. The T voiced her concerns over having the pen near the front of the house where its addition might make the house look "white trashie." Duane slowly turned and looked out the front window and across the street. He drily said, "You have a pink house across the street. What are you worried about?"

Point taken. Where's my shovel? I see some ground that needs a breakin'!

Needle in a haystack

2009-03-03T17:05:00.000-08:00

While clicking along and pondering the ginormity of the interweb, this passed in front of my eyeballs:

And I am speechless. It is brilliant. I mean, who would mistake that drive for their own and accidentally walk off with it? Half the world's population would leave it on the desk. Awesome. It also has me thinking about floppy discs—with wings. Best not go too far with that one.

I'm more of a visual person so the picture was enough for me. When I followed the link to The Bloggess, I was pleasantly amused by the blog entry preceding the image. Better than hearing about the budget nightmare again. I scored a two-fer.

Off to scrounge up some dinner now.

Biff! Bam! Bow!

2009-02-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

I appreciate the graphics as well as the fact that it has pulled back the Wizard's curtain just a bit and explained what's underneath very clearly. There will be a short quiz after.

Found at Neatorama

Nothing up my sleeve

2009-02-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

The information gathering part of the remodel is continuing. The other day I met with Mr Pyro, from the woodburning stove place. It was oh so delightful and informative and I learned I should be out there felling trees, splitting stumps and stacking logs right now if I want to heat my home with wood in eighteen months. Swell. And yet I sit here and blog about it rather than do it.

On the day in question, the sun was out and this meant that the front room of the Manor was a bit warmer than usual. The room has no curtains and faces south. In other words, the fishbowl was a-warmin' up. I'm sitting in my usual spot at the end of the table, in a sunspot, chatting with Pyro when I catch something out of the corner of my eye. I glance out the front door—which is open—and through the screen door—which is closed—to see Barque strolling up the walk. "Excuse me," I say to Pyro. "One of my cats is outdoors and I don't have outdoor cats."

I scoop up Furdini, trying to determine how she escaped. I think she has figured out the latch mechanism and whacked the door open while I was engrossed in a discussion about chimney height. I'll have to collect more data on this and possibly up my estimation of her IQ score a bit more.

Tech-Fashion 101

2009-02-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

Maybe I'd jump if it were wireless.

If you'd been listening in

2009-02-22T13:49:00.000-08:00

Our weekend morning routine has a decidedly techie aspect. As I come out of that blissful halfway point between dreaming and full wakefulness—you know that state of consciousness where the sounds in the room don't quite jive with the dream you're having and you struggle with trying to reconcile the two—I begin most mornings by grabbing the iPhone and checking the weather. I expect no excitement from the updates. I just want verification that, indeed, Meanwhile Manor is a sieve and the temperature outside the covers is probably not very different from the temperature outside the walls.

The T came to as I was going virtual and the morning inter-romp followed the following path: check the headlines, change apps to check the weather, scan the radar map, change to the Maps app and search for Nevada City, California, search for Alamosa, Colorado, search for Area 51. In other words: random map perusal. This is our idea of a good time.

Comment of the morning: Hmm, shouldn't that be Roswell Intergalactic Air Center?

If you'd been listening in

2009-02-14T11:54:00.000-08:00

This morning at breakfast while perusing the birthday announcements in
People magazine, The T mentions that Dolly Parton is 63 years old.

Me: Wow. She looks good. How old do you think her breasts are?

T: Much, much younger.

Happy Valentines Day 

Miles Per Step

2009-02-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

This one's for you, Frenchie. I have no information on availability, efficiency, pricing, or registration requirements with your DMV or MVA.

2 Sugars, Cream, and the Letter Y

2009-02-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

Which one of these does not get along with the other three: sugar, cream, coffee, and the letter Y? Let me give you a few hints. Three of the four were quite content to be safely encapsulated in a travel mug. One of the four had no idea its demise was so near, about as near as the travel mug was to the keyboard upon which it was perched.

Apple, Inc. recently celebrated the 25th year of the Mac's existence. Here's to many more. This morning, I toasted the end to my own streak of approximately 28 years of using keyboards attached to Apple computers and drinking beverages of all kinds without the two ever coming to a nasty impasse. More than 10,000 consecutive days of keeping the liquids separate from the solids right went down the drain.

And the Y paid for my clumsiness with its life. All the keys around the Y dried out unscathed after a gentle swabbing with many tissues and some canned air. An additional odd injury to the keyboard was the inactivity of the N if the shift or command key to the left of the space bar was depressed but not the shift or command key to the right of the space bar. At that point, I placed the order for a replacement.

Entered in the budget ledger for the day was $65 ... for coffee.

Seems a contradiction

2009-02-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

In my efforts to be a little greener, I adopted reusable canvas bags for grocery shopping. A couple of these are all I need since I am not stocking up the way my parents did with only one shopping trip per week and six mouths at the trough.

I noticed something odd after my last trip to the store. If I use my own bags, 3¢ is discounted from the final bill. That's swell. But this begs the first question: how are those three pennies charged when one is not supplying their own bags? I've never seen a charge for 3¢ on a receipt.

There is also another question. When I purchase just milk or just some other single item for which I do not need a bag, I am not credited 3¢. Why does the discount only kick in when I use my own bag?

I believe I am going to request the 3¢ discount the next time I buy items I carry out in my hands and I am a) checked-out by a manager at the register, and b) it is not crowded so we can talk about this without a line forming behind me. Stay tuned.

Post-Soiree at Meanwhile Manor

2009-02-08T12:20:00.000-08:00

Well, that was fun. The T is embarking on her own new year and so we threw a little shin-dig in order to get it started right. Those of you who know us well know that we need very little excuse in order to throw open the doors and have a party. You also know that when the guest list expands beyond five or six people, my upbringing at the knee of a woman whose house always looked ready for a Good Housekeeping photo shoot kicks in and I need to clean furiously lest I get a rash. So we cleaned. And cleaned and cleaned and cleaned...

...and barely made a dent in the debris of the abode. But at least it was presentable and somewhat child-proofed. Our breeder friends have a cute little routine upon entering the house. While Ma chats and trails the Mini while he investigates everything, Pa follows behind at a slower clip and tries to see the house through Mini's eyes. Wires, pointy things, fragile items, catfood dishes all look different to Pa, Ma, and Mini than they do to The T and I. Mini amused himself for a bit by trying to find all the occurrences of Bugs Bunny present in the house. He found a few I forgot about. Thanks, kid.

We introduced something new at this party: games. The germ of this idea was planted over xmas when I spent a goodly amount of time playing with a Wii. I thought we'd have a Wii bowling tournament. Well, I couldn't find a Wii for rent anywhere (I am not ready to buy since the remodel is still looming and I am leary of buying one only to have to pack it up for an extended period of time) so we fell back on the toychest of joy. The game of choice was Taboo. What a great way to learn how people see the world. It's essentially a word association game with some words disallowed. How can I make you say glasnost without using the terms perestroika, Gorbachev, or Reagan? After a few drinks, the question becomes even more amusing.

Today we'll do an assessment of the party protocol, debrief regarding the pros and cons of pizza toppings and wine choices, and begin planning the next gathering—optimally timed for when the house needs another good cleaning.

What time is it?

2009-01-21T17:39:00.000-08:00

Who: Flight of the Conchords
What: a post dedicated to Amelia
Why: she said she liked the idea of feety-pjs; this gives her another reason to do so
What do you mean? Listen for the line about socks and all will become clear, Grasshopper.

Looks sleek, but how does it handle in the water?

2009-01-17T15:22:00.000-08:00

Color me one of the stunned folks regarding the airplane landing in the Hudson River. What sticks out in my mind is that in all the news stories I've been reading about this event, there was only one mention of the actions of any member of the crew besides the Captain. The flight attendants repeated "brace for impact" and gave other instructions while the plane was descending and then they disappear from the news reports.

It is interesting piecing together the atmosphere inside the cabin based on passenger stories: some prayed, some brayed, and one gent began reading the information card to review how to get the door open once they hit the water. Once they were down, the crowd all ran to the back of the plane. They then reversed course and ran toward the front of the plane. Where were the cabin attendants while this was going on? Pretty quickly, rafts were in the water and people were on the wings. One woman now regrets having worn 3-inch heels (she made it onto the wing but ended up in the drink as she removed them and her feet slipped on the smooth, wet metal). Then the armada showed up and all passengers were eventually on dry land.

We're hearing all about the "heroic" actions of the pilot. Yes, he should be commended for his cool head and his skills and his professionalism under pressure but didn't he simply do what he was supposed to do and what we hope every pilot would do if we were the passengers? He is a role model for other pilots to look to for the way it should be done in the time of crisis. But I stop at calling him a hero. He did his job. The word hero is overused. Where is the line between doing your job right and stepping up when conditions demand it and the opposite end of the spectrum of just mailing it in? If you cross the line—toward the positive side—should you be called a hero?

Multitasking

2009-01-15T19:25:00.000-08:00

There's a new gadget here at Meanwhile Manor and it has made me very happy indeed. It allows me to do two of my most favorite things simultaneously.

When the sun goes down and the grrllzz have been fed, watered, brushed, and whatever other [___]-ed that requires attention, I don my feety pajamas and head off to bed. This is Thing One. I love sleeping.

Thing Two involves numbers: collecting, sorting, graphing, analyzing, describing, drooling, etc.I love random data collection. I bought a pedometer to count the number of steps up the hill. I carried a GPS to collect data on altitude change, heading, and more. I write down my gas fill-ups religiously. The problem with all the sources of those types of data is that I have to be awake to experience them. Not so with my new gadget: a SleepTracker watch. It tracks my sleeping and sets off the alarm when I am at an optimum place in my sleep cycle.

The data collection is a total perk. I got this watch in order to combat the six months of overcast skies here in the Northwet. After the clocks get turned back and darkness rolls in around 4 pm, I have the darnedest time waking up in the morning. This is not conducive with morning classes. So I figured this watch might help.

And then I discovered the data review mode. Heaven. It records each time I am at an almost awake moment, before I start to drift back down into the inkier depths. If an almost awake moment coincides with the alarm time, then I should awake most refreshed. My breakfast time just got a wee bit more exciting. I've got my oatmeal and my sleep data.

I've only had it a week and two of those days were a weekend when my sleep schedule is totally whacked. My jury is still out on the effectiveness of this gadget but I'm loving the data in the morning.

No one ever asks what would doggie do

2009-01-06T20:12:00.000-08:00

1) Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Probably not.

2) The fascinating thing about typewriters is that they have built in printers.

and this one is for you, Frenchie,

Found here.

Not part of the mob

2008-12-22T12:52:00.000-08:00

The T and I are two units in the masses traveling for the holidays.
There is a certain mindset you have to shoot for in order to stay sane
in the airport and truly appreciate the signs that read "Thank you for
participating in security." This time of year--and this year in
particular--winter wardrobes collide head on with TSA suggested
footwear. Sorry but I am not packing my winter boots when I'll need
them to board my dog sled transportation in the midwest.

Anyhooo, we left the house eight hours before our flight time in order
to give ourselves a huge cushion of time in case we had to deal with
any unexpected events on our way to the aeroport, like the yuppie
jackass in the Jeep Cherokee who was trying to reach warp speed on the
snow covered road. We made it to the Emerald City with no problems but
wonder where the plows are. The state must own at least one, right?

The scene at the aeroport is total simmering chaos but none if it
involves The T and I. Two airlines cancelled all their flights out
yesterday so there are a few stranded people standing around in
corrals. It was hard to navigate until we got close to the American
Airlines counter. Then the sea of humanity parted and we left the
crowds behind. We both feel like we cheated somehow. We even have
seats on the plane! Something is going to go wrong at some point but I
don't know what is left. The bag is checked, my belly full and my
boarding pass looks legit. I had no idea my karma account had such an
overflow of points.

On to Chicago and single-digit temperatures!!

Sent from my iPhone

If you'd been listening in

2008-12-21T13:40:00.000-08:00

Overheard in Meanwhile Manor:

The T: I guess I'll get out of bed now.

Me: Why? Because it's after 12 noon or because you're asking questions that can be answered in the user's manual that I'm not bringing to you?

The T: You pick.

In merely two syllables, The T deflated all the air behind my passive-aggressive haranguing. I bow before the master.

Put down the donut and click here

2008-12-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

Do you remember that internet game where you would enter two words into google with the goal of getting only one hit? I think a did it once with words related to flatulence and pachyderms. I was reminded of the game when I read these words on a blog: taro root Slushie with boba.

Some worlds just collided there.

I found that decidedly odd menu item on the One Dollar Diet Project. It's a fascinating read about a couple in California who fed themselves on only $1 every day for a month. Whoa. I think the cinnamon sticks in my morning brew go for 5¢ apiece. I'd never make it. Anyway, the taro root Slushie with boba was ingested the day after the flirtation with scurvy experiment ended. Just never thought I'd see those five words in that order and I had to share.

Didn't think that all the way through

2008-12-20T11:24:00.000-08:00

Oh, a little forethought goes a long way. And I'm not just saying this
because I have a heater that blows directly into the refrigerator when
the door is opened. The set up is less than efficient but I don't
think the person who installed the heater knew we would be putting the
fridge there. I mean, who else has their fridge in their back entry way?

But that is not the lack of pre-thinking that is driving me crazy
today. I mean, in a week when things start to thaw around here because
Mother Nature gets back to dumping snow further east where it belongs,
the aforementioned heater will go back to being unused. I am fuming
about the lack of planning ahead on the part of a previously admired
author. If you think you're going to write a serialization of novels
revisiting the same characters, you should put a little thought into
their development as individuals and the evolution of the group
dynamics, to name but two important realms.

Book six came out recently so I went back to page one of book one and
started there before jumping into the latest offering. I listened to
all five books consecutively. This byte-cramming revealed the text in
new way. In the staggered, dragged out initial read, literary devices
such as the rehash of previous events worked well to get the reader up
to speed and make current events more sensical. Part of me gave the
author credit for allowing newbies to the series multiple entry
points. Alas, I now see that the rehash is there because the author
does not know how to move the characters forward from their springing
mostly fully-formed from her head for book one. I know that only two
years have passed in the lives of the characters and so situations
like living arrangements may be the same as they were in previous
books but the events of the characters' lives have been major and
their beliefs challenged and their perspectives impacted yet none of
this is revealed in the writing. I'm distraught about this because I
enjoy visiting their world and I like checking in with them to see how
they're getting on but I have better things to do with my time if the
answers to "how you doing?" are always the same. I don't spend time
with stagnant people here in meatspace and I'm certainly not going to
waste my time with similar folks in a fictional dimension.

This latest book in the series is so poorly written, so full of rehash
and so lacking in development that I think the publisher has pulled a
fast one. I honestly believe that the franchise has been handed off to
a room full of monkeys at typewriters and the original author does
nothing but contribute her name to the cover. This is the Chihuley
(sp?) method of artistic mass manufacturing: one person has the
initial vision and sets the groundwork for the form and then
apprentices crank it out on a mass scale without receiving any
individual credit and without the original artist ever touching the
final piece. I think this is what happens with many book series. I
read that one murder mystery author practices this. He sketches an
outline then a peon fleshes it out and-voilà!-instant best seller with
the known name slapped on the cover.

Of course, it may just be the case that the author was a one hit
wonder. She is up front about her lack of any formal training or
previous practice of the writing craft. Her first book was a gem and
the world she created is an amazing place. But now she doesn't know
what to do next to go forward from fantastic. The lack of thousands
pages of practice behind her is very evident in her current pages
reading as the road already travelled.

Oh well. I've moved on. I'm well into my next fictional work and
thoroughly enjoying it. And since the release dates for subsequent
titles by the same author are spaced out in 18 month intervals rather
than six month intervals, I believe he may actually be the author of
every title. The jury is out on whether or not he can reach the bar he
set rather high in title one.

Sent from my iPhone

Snnff. It's just so beautiful

2008-12-19T06:30:00.000-08:00

Transcript (from Neatorama)
Shame on you. This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you’re going to let it be the worst. And I guarantee a week won’t go by in your life you won’t regret walking out, letting them get the best of you. Well, I’m not going home. We’ve come too far! And I’m going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause. A day may come when the courage of men fails… but it is not THIS day. The line must be drawn HERE. This far, no further! I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. You’re going to work harder than you ever worked before. But that’s fine, we’ll just get tougher with it! If a person grits his teeth and shows real determination, failure is not an option. That’s how winning is done! Believe me when I say we can break this army here, and win just one for the Gipper. But I say to you what every warrior has known since the beginning of time: you’ve got to get mad. I mean plum mad dog mean. If you would be free men, then you must fight to fulfill that promise! Let us cut out their living guts one inch at a time, and they will know what we can do! Let no man forget how menacing we are. We are lions! You’re like a big bear, man! This is YOUR time! Seize the day, never surrender, victory or death… that’s the Chicago Way! Who’s with me? Clap! Clap! Don’t let Tink die! Clap! Alright! Let’s fly! And gentlemen in England now abed shall know my name is the Lord when I tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our Independence Day!

Condensed Time, Just Add Tech

2008-12-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

Let's not discuss the lack of heat in ye olde abode right now. I want the remodel that has been a bright shining figment of my imagination for months now to magically occur over night, complete with new wood burning fireplace. If the elves can't make the whole thing happen, I'd just like the fireplace, please. How about just replacing the single-pane windows? I only feel my toes after a hot shower or first thing in the morning after a night of thawing, er, sleeping on Big Swampy.

Anyway, while my fingers are still warm and nimble enough to type, let me get this post going. Warmth may only be one factor leading to the downfall of this post, now that I think about it. The condensing of time might be what does it in. I read an article the other day on an old fashioned piece of paper, possibly bound together in what was known as a "news magazine" and the speaker pulled the Old Timer Walking 5 Miles Through Snow to School routine. My own 40-year-old brain has forgotten the subject of the article but the gentleman mentioned how hard it was for him back in 19-hundred-and-97 "when all we had was [the search engine] HotBot."

While that reference to way back when was kicking around in my head, I ran across this techno-gem this morning:

The third and last entry of the epic Toy Bot series offers a crescendo of challenges, superb levels and an exciting conclusion to this iPhone classic. link

The iPhone has only existed since June 2007 and the game is an iPhone classic? Was the word classic misused or am I becoming a fuddy-dud? Where is the line when something that was introduced becomes a classic? With cars, I thought it was around 30 years. Apparently with video games, the window is mere months. The App Store is not even a year old and a game has gone classic. I'm dizzy. How long before the game is so cool and old it is retro? When I start to refer to "back in my day" will I actually be referring to a four-hour window or might I be allotted an entire day?

A detail that is adding to this cognitive dissonance is that I'm listening to Full Dark House by Christopher Fowler on my old-school pre-3G iPhone and hearing all about London during WWII. In this time of the U.S. trying to get over itself in terms of international affairs, I considered how New York or Philadelphia or Seattle might have reacted if bombers had reached our shores during that war. Police phone boxes and hurricane lamps and typewriters and magnifying glasses were the tech of the day. (Also described are rationing and going to shelters and emerging to see your neighborhood has disappeared under a pile of rubble. I believe our American psyche with respect to hardship is sorely lacking as compared to the rest of the planet. I'm not saying we should have a war just to toughen us up but I do believe our collective perspective has some major holes in it.)

I'm going to ponder the speeding up of the passage of time more while I find some sticks to ... er, particles to rub together to generate some heat and warm up my coffee.

link for image

That won't be on the test

2008-12-04T20:02:00.000-08:00

In precalculus, we've spent the last few days looking at various solution techniques for systems of equations. If you are a math-o-phobe, all you need to get from the last sentence is "looking at various solution techniques." In street lingo, it means we've been solving problems by hand and building up to the crescendo (in my mind anyway) of getting the calculator to do it for us. I prefer setting the stage for the Magic Button Method by first working problems by hand and analyzing why the steps are done and why they are allowed, etc. etc.

Today was the moment. What had been taking a minimum of 15 minutes of arithmetic agony took a mere minute of set-up and a second of waiting for the calculator to spit out the answer. One student immediately asked, "Are we going to be able to solve these with the calculator on the homework?"

What I wanted to say was, "Once the genie's out of the bottle, it's impossible to put him back."

What I heard myself say was, "It's like finding out that the wizard is just a creepy old man behind a curtain. There's no going back once you've seen that."

Six days and counting before break begins. Not a second too soon, me thinks.

Not sure what to call this

2008-12-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

I just realized I have no memory of having combed my hair before
leaving the house this morning. Looking in the mirror does not provide
any evidence.

I'm not sure if not knowing says more about what kind of day I'm
having or my sense of style.

Sent from my iPhone

I tawt I taw a puddy-tat

2008-11-30T21:07:00.000-08:00

I really didn't need to sit at my desk tonight, grrllzz. Don't mind me.

Feline Concentration

2008-11-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

You would never know by looking at this shot that Meanwhile Manor has
approximately 1100-square feet in which one can stretch out (or curl
up) and relax.

Oh, really

2008-11-29T10:57:00.000-08:00

My daily digital routine includes updating my numerous podcasts
(welcome to the herd, Ms Maddow), checking the bulletin boards for
files worth the download bandwidth, cycling through watched or
listened to files on the iPhone and replacing them with fresh, new
files, and looking for new and/or updated iPhone applications. It is
this last which caused me to double-take this morning.

iTunes makes updating easy to the point of annoying. Essentially,
updates are shoved your way and you either acquiesce and perform the
upgrade or subject yourself to endless nattering and nagging.

Anyway, one of the apps I have on my iPhone is a copy of the
Constitution. Perhaps you've heard if this document. Imagine my
surprise when it required an update this morning. As The T said,
"you'd think we'd have heard more about that."

Sent from my iPhone

I knew it!

2008-11-29T06:00:00.000-08:00

Here's the last image sent from the Mars rover Phoenix. Looks suspicious, if you ask me.

Actually, the photo was slightly, uh, retouched as part of a contest over at Gizmodo.

Just let me finish this page

2008-11-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

This is how I feel in the bookstore and at the library and while browsing Powell's Books.com and well, all the time really. I wish I had a touch of insomnia, just a touch. Maybe then I'd have a chance to read all the books I am accumulating.

Link

iYiyi

2008-11-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

What is the fascination with bacon? Bacon wallets. Bacon band-aids. And now iBacon for your iPhone. I am verklempt.

from Gizmodo

How do I recharge this thing?

2008-11-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

Ingenious! A Japanese farmer put stickers on apples and then just sat back and waited. Brilliant and probably a trademark infringement lawsuit waiting to happen. Regardless, next year I am slapping stickers on every veggie I plant.

via Gizmodo

What Would Rorschach See?

2008-11-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

As a follow-up to Gollum's particular perspective of a store display combined with my self-inundation in the national election, I bring you an interesting view of voting results. Way more info can be found at the author's site, not too far from the longitudinal midline of the contiguous 48.

The national election in 2004 spawned the Jesusland map, a (humorous?) response to the wave of red psychosis that swept the land:

Here's what it looks like in the more traditional colors of red and blue:

And now let's look at just the lower-48:

Now this is where things get really neat. If the map is tweaked based on population density and we look at the cartogram, the red and blue swatches look like:

For a fuller explanation of what's going on, check out where the maps came from.

Here are the results for the 2008 election:

I would love to see this map superimposed on on similar renditions of maps showing locations of cities. I wonder just how distorted location is. That claw on the west coast: is that San Francisco Bay? Where exactly is that pocket of red in the lower left corner, Arizona? The author offers up his software for free. I'm off to play.

At the end of the rainbow

2008-11-20T22:00:00.000-08:00

Way back in The When, at the beginning of the presidential primary season when it seemed like every politician who had a pulse decided the run for the office, the question arose, "Who is this Obama fellow?" My favorite answer to the question—and this is real, I swear—was that he was a nice Irish fellow cut from the same liberal cloth as a previous generation's nice Irish fellow.

Irish. As in O'Bama. For a brief moment, I wondered if I was spelling his name wrong and that the apostrophe was actually some sort of glottal stop like in the word Hawai'i. Thankfully, the moment passed.

I can only think that these poor mistaken folks, deep in their conservative closet, were so shocked that a man of mix-raced lineage would dare enter the campaign that they clung to their error for comfort. Did they also misconstrue the rest of his name? Did they hear it as Patrick Seamus O'Bama? Oy.

You're gonna need a bigger scoop

2008-11-19T06:00:00.000-08:00

My apologies to Mr Scheider, Mr Spielberg, and the shark for the preceding title but my reasoning will be obvious by the end of the post.

I recently journeyed to Petco with Gollum for needed animal items like food and dog biscuits in the very particular shape of a postman. So there we are wandering the aisles, both wondering how Cooper the Happy Dawg would fare in such environs when Gollum stopped dead in her tracks and stared at the huge litterbox serving as the endcap on an aisle. If you've visited Petco, you know of what I speak. The bin is about three feet long and four feet wide and who knows how deep and is completely filled with clay cat litter. After bumping into the back of the stopped Gollum, I hear her say in an awed voice, "Wow, that's huge. You would have to have a really big room in your house."

I was forced to inform her that it was a bulk dispenser of litter and she should stick with dogs. Never a dull moment with Gollum, nosiree.

A New Age

2008-11-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

I have been completely swimming in news since the election started. I find myself reading news constantly. All. The Time. I am reading feeds on my iPhone before I'm even out of bed. Yes, I have asked myself if this is unhealthy. I mean, how many people need the AP wire or Maureen Dowd before they need coffee? The name Rachel Maddow was also tossed my way as someone to provide a fix. Since I am tv-less and on the edge of radio signals, I think this will be another vid-cast watched in bed.

Anyway, the latest sign of the times is Obama's plan to provide video versions of his weekly address. I first heard this on NPR where the reporter closed the story by saying, "YouTube did not exist when President Bush was elected." Yes, and the fact that it came into being, became a huge piece of the cultural and informational landscape and that he still wasn't including video at the end of his reign of terror is yet another example of how quick he was to adapt to new ideas.

January 20th cannot come soon enough for me.

Go vote!!!

2008-11-04T17:02:00.000-08:00

The NPR mobile site has crashed. I can't check election returns. Aaaa!

Sent from my iPhone

The Adult Version

2008-11-03T18:03:00.000-08:00

I was hunting for a good book to read when I go to bed after a long day of staring at student papers. As often happens in these situations, I re-read a title I really enjoyed once (or twice) before. This time, I chose to re-read the Hollows series by Kim Harrison. Nothing like a witch bounty hunter who both lives with a vampire who has sworn off blood and has a pixie for a partner. It's a great series.

While waiting for my library copy of the first book in the series, Dead Witch Walking, to come rolling in from the coast on ye olde bookmobile, I acquired a digital copy of the audiobook. I have to tell you, this is the best. I laid on the couch Saturday recovering from Friday's Halloween party and read the first 100-or-so pages. Then I crawled back into Big Swampy 'cuz the house was cold and I wasn't up to faking it anymore. I dropped in the earbuds and picked up in the book where I left off without having to focus my poor eyes. It was awesome. Last night did both! This was like an adult read-along book. While I am not appreciative of the audio artist's rendition of Ivy the vampire*, it was oh so very cool to be lying in bed having someone read to me.

*Question for the audience: why oh why must every vampire have a silky-husky-breathy voice? The premise of the Hollows series is that Inderland creatures who have lived among humans for centuries and have thus learned to mask their differences in order to survive are now living openly. You, like, can't tell me that there isn't, like, at least one vamp in the whole clan that sounds like a valley girl. The vampire character is not filling any of the well known stereotypes or caricatures of the species but the reader's voice sure is.

Technology update

2008-10-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

Not only has the iPhone broken barriers in the number of mobile phoning pholks and inappropriate web-surfing behaviors in social settings, it has opened up new vistas of humor. I would like to enter the following exhibits into the official record:

I'm off to work on my halloween costume (can you guess what I'm dressing as? hint: not a hammer) and acquire the Fisher-Price phone sound to use as my ringtone.

This is not the cat you're looking for

2008-10-23T20:23:00.000-07:00

Chaos had a vet appointment today. Out came the cat carrier.

This is not Chaos in the cat carrier:

Nor is this Chaos in the cat carrier:

Neither Three nor Barque had a vet appointment today. When they do, I doubt they'll pose like this.

At this time—although transportation to and fro was successful—we have no photos of Chaos in the cat carrier. I believe she is under the bed. Considering it's a waterbed, that's not an easy place to be.

Car 54 where are you?

2008-10-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

The local newsrag reported that a local woman was shot through the leg after lighting the fire in her woodstove. A few weeks earlier, she spilled shot from a shotgun shell and apparently some made it into the newspaper that was used as starter fuel. The woman lit the paper, turned and began walking away when the shot exploded out of the stove and punctured her in the leg. She lived to tell the tell the tale.

But what if she hadn't? What if the shot had clipped an artery and she died and took the details of the ammo spill with her? Could Sherlock Holmes have figured out whodunit? I would have liked to hear his deductions that night:

From the trajectory of the shot, the assailant was standing on this side of the room. He is short, pot-bellied and has rather dark skin with a complexion like iron. He has four legs and an interesting gait. He cannot move too quickly. I believe we will also find he has a rather long, skinny neck.

Overheard in Meanwhile Manor

2008-10-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Me: Oh, that's rich! Bush is going to try to calm the nation's fears about the economy by giving a statement at the White House.

The T: Yeah, all he had to do was learn the word 'liquidity'.

Well, whaddyaknow

2008-10-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

Thanks to KFluff, I've put off grading and planning for another few moments. More importantly, I've discovered that I'm gorgeous. I mean, check this out:

I'm an Ingrid!!

How can you argue with the results of an internet quiz that combines both advanced logic and magic? What I truly want to know is how you tell the difference between those two ingredients? Processes? Are they nouns or verbs?

Anyway, here's more info about me than you might want to know. I added the first comment, btw.

You abhor color and live in a black and white dimension.

You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me
* Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
* Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
* Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
* Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
* Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting! (I love the exclamation point here.)

What I Like About Being an Ingrid
* my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
* my ability to establish warm connections with people
* admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
* my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
* being unique and being seen as unique by others
* having aesthetic sensibilities
* being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

I don't think this is accurate. I'm often unaware there are even people around me, let alone that they might have feelings. My aesthetics extend only to how many different ways the primary colors can be used in my daily wardrobe.

What's Hard About Being an Ingrid
* experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
* feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
* feeling guilty when I disappoint people
* feeling hurt or attacked when someone misunderstands me
* expecting too much from myself and life
* fearing being abandoned
* obsessing over resentments
* longing for what I don't have

Hmm, if I go through these extremes I am unaware it happens. I attribute any shame or guilt to lingering scars from Catholicism. Rather than feeling attacked when misunderstood I think the other person is a dolt for not seeing the obvious. Owning cats has alleviated any possibility of feeling abandoned. They do a good job of ignoring me to begin with.

Ingrids as Children Often
* have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
* are very sensitive
* feel that they don't fit in
* believe they are missing something that other people have
* attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
* become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
* feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)
Wow. The first five describe me as a pre-teen or teen dead on target. The last two, not so much. This is where neither advanced logic or magic came through in the test.

Ingrids as Parents
* help their children become who they really are
* support their children's creativity and originality
* are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
* are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
* are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Nothing to add here since I am not a breeder. I think children are a parasitic affliction that can be easily avoided.

I'm going to float back to the top of this post and stare at myself a bit longer. I think I'm hot.

You don't say

2008-10-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

And the nominees for Line of the Year (thus far) 08-09 are:

• The energy on campus is so different in the summer. I like the fall quarter the best of all of them, though—at least there's still hope. —IT tech

• Don't take this the wrong way but you're not as big of a bitch as people said you were. —statistics student

• You lied. When people ask if they should take statistics with you I'm going to say, "No, Lee lies."—statistics student

Let's recall our other favorite lines from years past:

• I would rather put a gun to my head than take another class with Dr. Lee. —unknown student

• [to another math faculty] Don't take this the wrong way but you teach just like Lee. —precalculus student (for the third time)

Cast your votes in the comments. I'll post new ones as they are uttered.

Side Effect of Italy

2008-09-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

While at the villa in the Italian countryside, the group of 13 did a very good job of feeding ourselves. M, ever the good girl scout, suggested that a different group of people take the duties for one dinner during the week. She even wrote the schedule down and kept track of menu ideas so that trips so the Super Mercado could be minimized.

M and E came to Italy from northern Europe with a suitcase containing—I kid you not—six kilos of licorice and two wheels of cheese. Let's leave the discussion of the quantity of licorice for another day, shall we, and focus instead on the cheese and the person it has turned me into.

I know not what the cheeses were. This is partially due to the fact that every time I asked what the name of the second one was, a different person answered with either a completely different name or a pronunciation of a repeated name that sounded so different as to be a different word in my head. Thusly, I gave up trying to track this info and came home with pictures in my head instead of names. I like cheese in red wax and no wax. This particular info has not made it easy to find similar cheeses here in the States.

I exaggerate—but only a little. The first wheel was Edam and the second unknown. Regardless, downstairs in the chiller I now have a deli drawer full of foreign words or words of foreign origin now bastardized into edible English. There is a wedge of gouda, a wedge from Costmo, a wedge made in Seattle, and two other wedges not yet opened. I have become a cheese snob, as much as is possible here in the northwest.

Individually wrapped cheese slices are out. Huge blocks of bland cheddar are banished. "Gimmee something I can't pronounce" is my new mantra on the solid dairy front.

If you'd been listening in

2008-09-26T16:40:00.001-07:00

Here is this morning's pre-coffee conversation.

Me: Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever lived in a town where there were competing sex shops before. There's the one downtown, the lovely neon pink brick-and-mortar place—a well-respected member of the business community for years. And then there's that single-wide trailer just outside city limits that makes me hear the theme from Deliverance whenever I drive by. It's just a thriving business around here. (pause) Hmm, maybe I'm misusing the word "thriving". Maybe I want a different word.

The T: Like "throbbing"? I think throbbing is the word you want.

Fun with office supplies

2008-09-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

This is worth the three minutes it lasts.

EepyBird's Sticky Note experiment from Eepybird on Vimeo.

Italy 2008 Days 0-13

2008-09-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

Here's the rundown of my recent vacation, gang. Rather than drag this recap out, I will describe only the most salient points.

Day 0 The Beginning: I was awake before the dawn and a total psychopath regarding getting to the airport on time. Perhaps this is what led to the following incident:

Agent: Oh, you're eligible for an upgrade to business class!
Me: (to The T) What do you think? It's a long flight?
The T: We don't have $1000.
Me: Yes, yes, we do.

And so we flew in business class. We sipped champagne while hoi polloi filed on. I ate grilled lamb at 35,000 feet. And while my nail clippers may have potentially been confiscated by the teen-aged zit-faced TSA agent, I was given real metal silverware with which to terrorize said lamb. The T watched as many movies and TV shows as she could before we laid our seats out fully flat and slept.

My first impression of Rome was made in the shuttle from the airport to the hotel. Rome has an energy not seen in American cities. It was vibrant and loud, bordering on chaotic. With respect to traffic specifically, the lines were a mere suggestion. As many cars as possible filled out the road from curb to curb and any open space was filled by a scooter. Yet as uncontrolled as it appeared, I saw no accidents or close-calls. This was amazing to watch—until I was a pedestrian, forced to be just as aggressive without the protection of a metal shell.

Day 1 Rome: Walking the city was amazing. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting some art. The Coliseum was cool, the ruins amazing, Trevi Fountain awe-inspiring, and I do not have words for the Pantheon.

Day 2 On to Arrezzo: Why is it you have to strip naked to get on a plane yet the only uniform I saw in the train station was on the sweeping crew? I understand there is a certain horror surrounding the image of a plane accident but a train disaster is no less deadly or evil, yet you can buy your ticket and find your seat and sit with your wares beside you, non-x-rayed nor handled by another. I began to think this difference in transportation mode security as a symptom of our country rather than a difference in planes and trains. The difference was striking and the population indifferent. Was my surprise at the lack of security obvious to the other people-watching travelers? Regardless, I love trains. The Italian countryside was beautiful and went by all too quickly.

Day 3–9 At the Villa: The city of Arrezzo is more my speed. Much smaller than Rome with just as much espresso and beer available for the asking. And for wa-a-a-a-y fewer euros. Rome is expensive. Similar to The Economist magazine's method for comparing currencies based on Big Mac worth, I will use beer. A small beer in a Roman cafe cost 8 euros. A similar size beer in Arrezzo cost 5 euros. When we got to the town of Talla, a beer twice the size cost less than 2 euros. Hence, the gang of 11 adults had no problem stocking up on beer and wine for the week we spent together.

M&E picked us up in Arrezzo and drove us to the villa where I stayed ensconced for the rest of the trip. The T went on a day trip to Florence (Bologna had been eliminated as a day trip destination because nobody knows what's in it) but I was content to walk to Talla every day and sip an espresso under the watchful and suspicious gaze of the elderly gang of men.

As I work through my photos and The T's videos, I'll post more details but we had an awesome time. The point to the trip was to celebrate M's birthday and to that end we were quite successful. I heard a goodly number of bawdy rugby songs, witnessed a prank of epic proportions, swam in a pool filled by a mountain spring and was sorry to see it all end.

It's good to be back. I can't wait for the next trip. Stay tuned for more details.

p.s. Frenchie: We now have a collection of euros which show the before and after of Norway's inclusion in the EU and the impact on the imprint of the flaccid penis. Thought of you the whole time.

Available over WiFi, you say?

2008-09-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Add "and tastes great" to the list of iPhone features.

Found at Macenstein via MacRumors

But how do you really feel?

2008-09-16T05:52:00.000-07:00

So there I am yesterday, at my first day of school, all shiny and happy and ready to face the challenges of the new year. I will not actually identify those challenges each by name in this post—they are Legion and I would rather focus on here what was the focus of my yesterday.

The year began as is the tradition here at the CC on the Hill ... how have I not thought to call it CCHill before, folks, eh? (I now have David Bowie in my head singing "ch-ch-ch-chill" to the tune of "ch-ch-ch-changes") ... what was I talking about? Oh yes, I was heading off to the traditional morning coffee hour and welcome back by the Prez when I saw my new colleague's door open. Remembering all too well what it was like to be the fresh meat, I offered to walk over with him and introduce him around. We had a lovely chat during which I assured him, a southwest desert transplant, that the rain this corner of the continent is famous for would get here soon enough. And what's the rush, anyway?

After the Prez's greeting, the Veeps introduce the new hires in their respective areas. This is when the tone for my year was set, I believe. When the Veep got to my colleague, he introduced him by saying, "And you know Dr. Math is new because he is sitting next to Lee."

ba-dum-bum. Annnnnnnd we're off.

Sittin' on the Continent

2008-09-04T01:44:00.000-07:00

Wow. Here I am in Germany after 10 hours in the air. I've got three
words for all you world travelers out there: upgrade, upgrade,
upgrade. Let's hear it for business class! That was the best
experience I've ever had flying. I'm going to go journal about it now
the old-fashioned way so I can give a more complete trip summary at
the end of the trip. Guten tag.

Sent from my iPhone

One more before I go

2008-09-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

In our efforts to get files from the new vid-cam into some format we could edit in iMovie, we found the following. Kudos to the programmers.

The calm before the calmer

2008-08-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

Those of you that know me at all know that the title of this post is complete fiction in my world. I am allergic to calm. I cannot handle serenity. I take moderation in, of course, moderation. So you can only imagine my current state as our trip to Italy looms right around the corner. Since I just read Kfluff's post, I am in the mood to award points to events contributing to this current turmoil.

Bought airline tickets for trip 3 months ago (+5)
Seats on plane may be the last row on the plane (-6) but are side-by-side (+2)
Bought sound dampening earmuffs to wear on the plane so I can hear my iGadgets without threatening the integrity of my eardrums with excessive volume (+2 per ear)
Had to move rifle ammunition, shooting glasses, and recoil sleeves to the side to find the earmuffs at the local general store (=)
Already booked hotel in Rome for two days on our own surrounded by ... uh ... Rome (+3)
Have no idea how we're going to get from the airport to the hotel (-2)
Hotel is 1 block from train station (+4)
Already have train tickets to Arezzo (+3)
Know that M&E will meet us in Arezzo with a car to whisk us to the villa (+++ a lot)

Now to the technology category:

Bought a voltage converter for all our gadgets (+2)
Called AT&T three times, each time asking a slightly different question which moved me closer to my goal of having one phone work without gouging a hole in my wallet and unlocking another phone which we can put a pay-as-you-go SIM card in once we're overseas (+1, +1, +1, over the course of three hours)
Headache from the automated phone system (-3, -3, -3, during the same three hours)
Bought an amazing video camera with which The T has been documenting our daily lives so as to practice (+4)
Discovered the vid-cam does not play nice with my Mac out of the box (-4)
Read on discussion boards that a free application can translate video files to iMovie friendly files ...
but only if I pay $20 for a QuickTime module (~ a wash)
Filmed Chaos yawning, transferred file to Mac, translated movie file, opened in iMovie and added a special effect (+10 and all hassle forgotten) (bonus!)
Currently loading movies and books onto iPhone and iPod for flight. 16 GB holds a goodly amount of video. (+, nothing but +)

Folks, we and our gadgets are off to Italy. We promise to document the adventure well. No matter what the arithmetic above results in, we are on the plus side.

No kidding?

2008-08-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

File this under Headline of the Day (though I'm not done with the Sunday paper yet)

Speedo Now Selling LZR Racer Swim Suit to the Public, U. S. Whale Sightings Way Up

-- seen at Gizmodo

It fits, ergo it must be so

2008-08-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

Crossword clue: Columbus discovery of 1493

Grid so far: -n----a

Well, Indiana fits both the spaces and the timeline. My public school
education must have failed me again.

Sent from my iPhone

Is there a prize for this?

2008-08-14T10:43:00.001-07:00

So I'm thinking of using a wiki in one of my classes this fall. Generally, I'm motivated by the "why one when many" model of information delivery. More specifically, since I never know where the next calculator question is going to come from, the students could work from their collective knowledge. Sounds good in theory. Post what you know, it is more than I could ever tell you.

Problem one with the theory is where does the wiki wiv, er, live. One option is at pbwiki. While surfing throught the employee information, I found the following:

Lynn Wu got her undergraduate degree in Golf and Sports Turf Management. She won silver in the biathlon in Torino. She also took on Wolverine on American Gladiators. Coming in at 6 feet 4 inches, Lynn keeps the PBwiki team in line with her amazon-like ferocity. In her spare time Lynn enjoys LOLcatting, practicing the art of bowyery, and writing fake biographies.

I'm leaning toward pbwiki as the external host for the class wiki if only because the upper-level mucky-mucks are cool with this and see amazon-like ferocity as a plus.

Updated 12:40 PM — The tagline for EditMe: "geek tested, newbie approved" is also a useful measure of quality.

More thrilling words were never heard

2008-08-12T18:06:00.000-07:00

"All jurors in the pool during August 4th to August 15th are released from service. We have no upcoming trials. Thank you for your service."

Oh, no. Thank you. I was called at the beginning of the term and sat in on a three day trial. I was gripped the whole time. This was the first time I've served and the whole procedure was fascinating. The case involved a plaintiff appealing the decision of the Labor & Industries Board to not re-open her injury claim. She wanted it re-opened and the Board said the injury was healed and denied her request. She appealed. That's when I became involved as a juror.

I have to say, with all my complaints about bureaucracies and red tape, I like that such an option exists for us little people. Hopefully I never need to appeal for medical attention (knocking on all wood within arm's distance right now) but I was happy to serve on this jury.

The cool part was that, rather than recall all the witnesses who testified in front of the Board, the lawyers read the transcripts to the jury. OK, it wasn't as dynamic as watching Hang 'Em High Harmon strut around on Law & Order: The Perpetual Trial but it was not boring. Each lawyer read the answers of their witnesses and they did a good job not putting us to sleep. Even the judge stayed in tune—we jurors were checking to make sure he was turning the pages at the same time as the lawyers. I wonder if my listening almost non-stop to books on bytes affected my listening skills during the read through.

Before we began deliberating, a juror asked the bailiff what the shortest time deliberating was that he knew of. He replied "about 18 minutes." Well, if our lunches hadn't already arrived (thanks to the County for that one, btw), we would have beat the record. Based on the fact that we all had ordered iced tea as our lunch beverage, I suggested we take an informal count to see if we also agreed on the decision. Turned out that we all agreed on that too! So we tucked in, discussed why we decided the way we did as individuals, recalled the bailiff, and skedaddled after agreeing with the Board's decision to not re-open the injury claim. I'm glad my first experience did not involve an actual crime.

Another manifestation of the obesity epidemic

2008-08-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

The ongoing societal problem of obesity has recently become an individual problem for mói.

No, my friends, I did not wake up to find myself a pre-teen taking medication for cholesterol. Nor did I have to purchase two adjacent seats, one for each buttock, on the plane that will be whisking me to Italy. My friends, societal obesity is now directly affecting my wardrobe. "How can this be?" I hear you cry. It's quite simple, really.

I do a great deal of clothes shopping at the local Bonne Velonté outlet ... er, the Good Will eight blocks up the hill. Considering that I shop near the bottom of the clothing food chain, think for a moment about who these clothes once belonged to. Obese people donate just as much clothing as, uh, norms do and since there are more obeses in the wild, there is more obese-size clothing hitting the racks.

Very rarely do I walk out empty handed but I did after my last trip. The shirts looked like car cozies. The fleece vests were the size of large sheep. The pants resembled two industrial smokestacks sewn together. The footwear ... well, footwear is not something I buy used but one has to glance at the rack, right?

Absolutely stunning. These make me think a bowling shoe mated with a ... bowling shoe. In fact, many generations of inbreeding must have occurred. Or is this what happens when Christian Louboutin has nipped a little too frequently at the bubbly while at the design table?

Link Analysis

2008-08-07T15:02:00.000-07:00

I've been pondering what my links say about me.

I regularly visit about 30 different sites, loosely categorized according to humor or technology or comics/graphic novels or design or games or random or environmental issues or consumer issues. There is also a small category called People Behind the Curtain which consists of blogs by people I know here in meat space.

That last category was not part of my analysis of my link habits. However, the other ones are a batch of inconsistencies I cannot resolve. For example, since we are beginning a lifetime long remodel here at Meanwhile Manor, I check in on Apartment Therapy much like I flip through design magazines in the library. Usually my reaction to this blog is that peoples' lives must be very small indeed if they lose sleep over just what shade of eggplant goes with the divan throw. However, the site is useful from the mechanical side of design. I have seen lamps made of egg crates, ball-point pens, and milk jugs. And why the hell not? I love it when the function of an object is not changed but its form is so radically different from what came before. But why should I replace the small bowl my change collects in with one that has been designed for just that purpose and has some famous designer's name stamped on it? The bowl works fine. This is the part of design I do not understand and refuse to be a part of: the lemming-like dash to re-do my house with the year's hottest trends. ... but I still like looking at the evolution of the lamp.

That site is in direct conflict with another site I visit regularly: Unclutterer. This latter site makes me feel bad over my consumer side. I have guilt over my gadgetry habit and I go back to the site because of the taint of Original Spend on my soul. There is great info like ideas for thinning my material possessions and organizing what is left.

Two other sites I visit are also in direct conflict with one another. Treehugger and Cool Gadgets. The first is all about trying to save the planet from the wasteful habits of the virus known as homo sapien while the second announces the latest toy that may be entertaining or useful but will also have to be updated in 18 months resulting in even more finite resources being wasted so I can watch tv shows on a handheld device in better resolution.

So what is a humble web-surfer to do? Do I shun my gadgets and gadget sites to reduce the temptation to buy the next one? Do I say minimalism or bust and not bring anything new into the house unless something of equal mass is expunged? (My, that sounds much like life in a bubble; is that type of existence possible for lifeforms above krill?) And can I ever truly expunge anything when all that means for me is throw it on the communal pile at the end of the road known as the dump?

I'm off to ponder this more, iPhone in hand while I turn the compost pile.

Buffalo, NY: the new world power

2008-08-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

I just had the most bizarre wiki experience that has shrunk my view of the planet. Follow along, kids.

I have acquired a copy of War and Peace in the Nuclear Age. I went to The Wik to learn more about this documentary before I committed myself to watching all thirteen hours. On the incredibly brief page, I clicked on the link for ...

PBS. I read way more about the tagline " ... and people like you" than I could have predicted. The page included a list of major PBS affiliates including ...

WNED. I had flashback overload to childhood hours spent wondering why there were no commercials on this station. I knew it had something to do with "people like me" but wasn't sure what because my parents would just bitch about the fund-raising campaign and change the channel. Then I clicked on ...

Buffalo, NY. I love that information about the climate is the first major wiki subsection. I miss snow and thought about the Blizzard of '77. I lived it. The rest of y'all can play the board game. As part of the discussion surrounding the cultural nuances of Buffalo, the 4 AM last call for bars is front and center.

I believe that this drinking convenience is a major reason for InBev locating their American headquarters in Buffalo. I mean, with those extra two hours, think of the research the company's interns can do investigating the beverage selection of the locals.

Look at that loop. It started with a documentary about the Cold War and ended with info on what the population of St. Louis sees as a foreign invasion by a Belgian company headquartered in this hemisphere in the city where I grew up.

I don't know what it means but it means something.

Protect your valuable stuff

2008-08-05T15:41:00.000-07:00

Hmm, was there some sort of problem for which this was the answer?

Fling is in the air!

2008-08-04T18:12:00.000-07:00

Ah, the sweet stench of the political campaign season. There is nothing else like it. For three years and six months out of every four year cycle, I believe most Americans try to be conscientious about not littering and leaving only footprints and packing out what they packed in, etc., etc. And then a campaign for political office starts and you wouldn't believe what people will pound into their lawns.

My current favorite campaign sign is the following:

Dino Rossi

Don't Let Seattle Steal This One!

So positive! So uplifting! It just screams leadership, rationality, decisiveness and forward-thinking. Blech.

I offer this link in the spirit of sharing what I found in my efforts to find a picture of one of these signs. Apparently these are not "official" campaign signs and are produced by a special interest group. Big whoopee squat. I hate the ethical slight-of-hand behind these stunts where the candidate professes his discontent while backers sling slop.

How many more weeks of this nonsense?

Always thinking of my peeps

2008-07-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

In my ongoing efforts to maintain a modicum of respect amongst my friends the fashionistas, I offer up the following link.

That is all.