Friday, July 28, 2006

I could have bought a goat instead

A funny thing happened while I was making numerous trips around the yard, meandering behind my smart-bomb-proof lawnmower...

In my effort to be a good neighbor to both the people around me and the planet, I bought a reel lawnmower. You know, one of those featureless gadgets that will keep the socially acceptable weeds known as "grass" cut to a reasonable height. Using this mower is my somewhat muted statement against the vicious cycle of suburbia wherein the players try to keep up with each other. The second reason is that there are only so many decayed dinosaurs to go around and why should I burn a few just to keep a lawn I don't really care about looking good for people whose opinion about my yard I really don't want? This thing does a fine job and nothing I've run over yet has stopped it from working.

So there I was, iPod on, sunglasses on, reel mower only on when moving when Ima Budinski comes strolling over. This woman is a true gem. She complains about everyone else's business on the block to the city so much they know her voice at the other end of the phone. Oh, joy. What does she want?

While checking out my yard under the guise of being friendly, she offered me the use of her electric mower until I could get a real one. I said I had a reel one and then realized that homophones don't make good audio jokes.

Well, pushing this mower keeps me from having to find additional time for exercise so I'd better get to it. Last time I checked, mowing the lawn burns more calories than typing about mowing the lawn.

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Addendum to this post: Aaron McGruder, the brains behind Boondocks, said it best when he put these words in Huey's mouth: Plus lawnmowing feels like one of those pointless societal distractions that keep us from focusing on matters of actual importance.

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