Almost messier than ever imagined

Yesterday, The T and I went on an adventure to the dump. While this might not sound like a good time to you, it was kind of fun for us. The main reason for the fun was the novelty: we had never been to the local dump before. I was excited to learn more about the intricacies and logistics behind waste management. Face it, for most of us, garbage disposal is a magical process which happens out of sight and out of mind. Only on occasion when a cat or raccoon or boogie-man knocks over the garbage can are we reminded of the mess surrounding the vast amount of things we throw away. I was curious as to how this is handled. And since I am a city resident who pays a fee to have my garbage hauled away from my yard and my conscious thought, I also wanted to see where my money was getting tossed. This trip was a long time in coming, also, if for no other reason than to get some crap out of the yard.

We loaded up the not-so-big pile of items we couldn't cram into our bin and headed off to the waste amusement park. As a diet-inducing maneuver, might I recommend weighing yourself while sitting in your car? You know you're surrounded by steel but seeing your 4-digit weight flash high in neon lights makes your pants feel tighter all the same. We found the three-sided barn which serves as the main depository before the trash is transferred to the big hole in the ground and a broom-pushing dude directed us to back in—pretty close to the pile, I might add. The smell alone encouraged us to not look at the pile too closely. Even though I was fascinated, this was not a place to linger. We opened the hatch, we each grabbed a side of the compact pile of debris (smell-free, I might add) and heaved it onto the pile...

... and this is where a disaster of monumental proportions was narrowly averted. I did a tiny countdown of "three... two... one" and tossed with all my might. The T, on the other hand, realized we didn't have to heave since the bulldozer would push the pile higher and so she was not prepared for my display of strength. I heaved while she was still hanging on. When our deposit landed, I glanced over to see The T doing a tap dance sort of routine to keep from falling into the stinking heap.

24 hours later, I'm still apologizing loudly and often for almost tossing her into the pile.