Zoom zoom

There's a new toy in the house. This is the first gadget I have ever bought with which I can cause physical harm to myself and others, text-walking injuries notwithstanding. I am now the zippy owner of a scooter named Clickwheel.

Original photo at Motorcycle Philippines

I've been riding it for about six weeks now and it is a hoot. What a blast! Zoom zoom.

Yes, zoom zoom indeed. And I haven't even gone faster than 30 mph yet! This speed limit has not meant a limit on unadulterated joy, however. I am restricted from, ahem, riding it like I stole it so that the engine is broken in correctly. After reading a little about this on the interweb, I am happy to maintain STL* speed in return for payback over the life of the engine in higher mileage and less pollution. I have only 200 more miles to go before I go to 31 mph and beyond!

I have washed Clickwheel. I have not even washed the Prius which cost seven-and-one-half times more money.

I have successfully changed Clickwheel's oil. This is an event that The T thinks of fondly as evidence that I am fried from the academic year. It took multiple trips to multiple stores for me to successfully acquire and return and try again to acquire all the materials I needed to swap used dinosaur juice for new dinosaur juice.

First I bought a drip pan and a funnel and oil. I stood Clickwheel up on her kickstand and quickly realized that the drip pan was not going to fit between the rear wheel and said stand. So the drip pan was returned. This accounts for two trips. I went to a different store to find a drip pan substitute. I found a six-inch wide roller pan used for painting. I also found a 21-piece socket wrench set with a 17 mm socket perfect for removing the oil plug. However, always the conscientious consumer, I looked around and found—for only a dollar more—a 40-piece socket wrench set. Nineteen more pieces for a buck? What a deal. I verified that the 17 mm socket was in the 21-piece socket set, placed it back on the shelf and made my way home only to return immediately once I realized that the 40-piece socket set did not have a 17 mm socket.

If the oil didn't need changing before, it sure as hell did now.

You might think that the story ends there. Depending on where you are on the Funny vs. Pedantic spectrum at this moment, you're either reading on for more or you may have already abandoned this page for something more entertaining. If you're still here, please laugh with me as I share with you what I should have thought of at the beginning of the oil saga: there is a tool kit in the stowaway zone. Yup, in the caboose where the iPhone charging port (!!) can be found is a collection of wrenches and other forged from steel items suitable for wrenching and other tasks associated with scooter engine maintenance.

I foresee future oil changes taking far less time.


* Sci-fi fans may know FTL as faster than light. STL would be the opposite.