In the past three days, I have found myself trapped in one of the circles of hell not known by Dante: the supermarket check-out line. It is often a challenge to maintain one's sanity during this time of limbo while the individual currently cashing out insists loudly enough for everyone to hear that:
a) I've got the pennies in the bottom of the purse/pocket/tubesock used as changepurse, or
b) I swear that card was good yesterday, or
c) If you count the cookies, chips, nuts, and pop as one meal, then I do only have 12 items.
When silently chanting a shakra to the bovine-spirits to keep my various dairy products uncurdled and chilled, I glanced at the tabloid headlines. It seems that all the celebrities in the world have condensed into only three people: Jen, Brad, and Angelina. Their mugs were on the cover of every tabloid and magazine except for the tiny little books full of secret's never printed before or horoscope wisdom or names for your pet/child.
The stories coming out of Bradgeliniston this week centered on the sex of the child and the matrimonial plans:
Maybe other news sources weren't duped by claims of successfully cloning humans. Is there a more rational explanation for the current checkout headline confusion?
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
No pretense of any accuracy whatsoever
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3 comments:
It is apparent to me that these writers all sit in the same room and agree to disagree so you buy ALL the tabloids. But my question is why would either one of these ladies want to be with this jerk? I saw him on a talk show once and he could not even put together a complete sentence. He was about as interesting as watching paint dry... Viv
I haven't been the same since Angie left me for Brad. But it was nice to see her in the latest issue of Vanity Fair as she lay sprawled in the bath tub. (Worth buying or at least borrowing from the library, the cover has Keira Knightley and someone else naked--you can't miss it). It shows off her new tattoos (hot hot hot). She is also in a 2 page ad in the mag for St. John. I mean, not that I'm keeping track or anything... Angie come back to me! Angie, if you do happen to be reading this, this is all for laughs, and those mean tabloid people should leave you alone! Come over for tea sometime, will you? By the way, my midwife girlfriend wants to deliver your baby.
Actually, Jen left Brad when she found out he was her twin brother. She knows the legal and moral issues of being married to kin.
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