Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Two categories

All the objects in the entire world can be divided into two distinct categories. You doubt me? I'm not talking about people and will therefore avoid political (liberal vs conservative), racial (white versus everybody else) and social (men vs women, rich vs poor) discussions. No, my division is practical. Let me begin again...

The entire world can be divided into two categories:
1) Things that CAN contain the used kitty litter for transport to the curb, and
2) Things that definitely can NOT

Used milk cartons: Can
Shoeboxes: Can, but not without the accompanying guilt over not recycling the cardboard
The ubiquitous plastic grocery bag: Can
Weekly postcard of pizza coupons: Not
Dirty laundry: Can, but do you ever want to wear the clothes again? If so, Not
Newspaper: Can, with or without creative origamical folding
Dirty dishes: Not, not, not, not, not
Cereal boxes: see shoeboxes above

You may be wondering how this question even came to be asked. Well, as you can imagine, when you have four indoor feline furballs who spend most of their time converting food into used food, the question is bound to come up sooner or later. Not long ago, the house was awash in plastic grocery bags, the default collection device. They were everywhere: in the cupboards, in the pantry, under the furniture, on top of the fridge, in the closets, on the bookshelves (behind both the comic books and the graduate school math texts), and—last but not least—spilling out of their special cloth holding tube hanging on the wall above Used Food Depository #1.

As it happens, time passes. During said time, my shopping habits changed. I began to buy less at the grocery and more at the farmer's market and organic/health food store. Neither of these places readily hands out plastic bags, they use paper instead. These bags leave the house as fast as they come in, albeit stuffed to bursting with newspapers. Since the food conversion habits of the furballs did not change, the plastic bag population slowly decreased until they were completely eradicated. I was finally forced to ask the question and get creative. Disaster was averted with some clever topological solutions. That is, I found containers where none were seen before and I got through until the supply of bags could be replenished.

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