Halloween Decompression

The refuse from our Halloween jack-o-lantern festival is now slowly recycling in the compost bin and the ghoulie-themed Tweety and Sylvester vest is once again tucked safely in the back of the closet. What's left from another holiday crossed off the calendar? A bowl full of homemade roasted sunflower seeds and 135 individually-wrapped Fruit Leathers.
I think it is safe to assume you didn't see that word combination coming, eh?

No, Fruit Leathers are not chaps for melons. Rather, they are direct relations of fruit roll-ups, sans the sugar, high fructose corn syrup, or artificial additives. And they are the only thing I could find that was suitable for the little whipper-snappers begging for treats. In my efforts to be a friendly neighbor in this here 'hood, I wanted to have something that would simultaneously be a hand out deemed worthy and prevent an egging or decorating of the house with TP while also being reasonably healthy or at the least not a mainline of sugar. Thanks to the creep that stuck a razor in an apple way back when, you can't hand out fruit or anything without a wrapper.

So think about this dilemma. What else is wrapped and snack-like without sugar? Should I have gone for meat jerky? That's an interesting idea. While we're wandering down Carnivore Lane, why not consider Slim Jims? You really have to appreciate a food item on which the first ingredient listed is "mechanically separated chicken." If we move to chips and/or pretzels, we merely make the carbs more complex. And therein lies the rub.

I refuse to contribute to the poor dietary habits of obese children. Yet I loved trick-or-treating as a kid and I didn't want to not participate. But eating the loot I'd collected was truly a treat for me. Candy was not a food group when I was growing up. More than once, my pleas for sustenance lest I pass out from starvation an hour before dinner was "go find something in the garden." The big treats for snacks were popcorn and pizza, both of which were labor intensive since they were made by hand—my hands. I'm not saying I had to shuck the corn but I did have to do the labor and clean up the mess to enjoy the snack. And the labor was more than rip off the plastic wrap and throw the bag in the nuker for two minutes on high.

So there I was in the big-box store looking for something reasonably priced with no sugar that I could hand out and feel no guilt when I watched the 3-foot tall superhero/heroine/sponge-bob/goblin waddle away down my walk. And I could find only one thing. I bought three boxes (48 per box) and handed out less than two-dozen of the brightly wrapped flat fruit. I was so ready if last year repeated itself and cars of non-city kids starting cruising the neighborhood. Alas, the temperature dropped and the scores of beggars I was anticipating stayed indoors. I now find myself gnawing my way through the fruit chews I have not yet been able to give away. Anyone interested in a Mango Madness?


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