Feeling like a centipede

I have always been the type to own enough shoes to keep my feet comfortable. That old joke about the difference between men and women and their shoes? Well, I would land squarely in the man camp.

• When a woman says she needs a pair of shoes that go with every outfit she means she needs as many pairs of shoes as she has outfits.

• When a man says he needs a pair of shoes that go with every outfit he means he needs only one pair of shoes.

I was so happy with just my Air Jesus sandals, workboots, sneakers and a pair of dress shoes. The pile wasn't that deep to dig through. The closet floor stayed relatively hazard free. And I had so few decisions to make when I got dressed.

Query: Is it clean?
If yes, commence dressing.
Else, commence scrounging.

When I got down to my feet, the routine became
Query: Is it raining?
If yes, avoid sandals.
Else, are shoes visible?
If yes, consider shoes
Else, put on sneakers.

Not a lot of thought necessary and my feet were happy campers.

Alas, I have been sucked into some horrible vortex of footwear. In the last week I have acquired abother pair of shoes and another pair of sneakers. Now I have to decide between the sneakers with blue highlights versus the red ones. With shoes, the decision is between the brown slip-ons and the brown lace-ups. I may have to change the time my alarm goes off in the morning. I may have to start going to bed earlier. {sigh} Life was so simple a mere three days ago.

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One way to organize your shoes. I hope this only a display and nobody actually owns the shoes like this shows.

Again with the 50 pairs of shoes all the same except for location on spectrum. Please don't let this obsession ever happen to me.

Wear shoes, get laughed at—but fail to hear it because the built-in music player is cranked up so loud.

Another sneaker-iPod cross-breeding experiment gone wrong.