Thursday, July 05, 2007

I'm Joe's Beer

Am I the only one who remembers those educational flicks shown in elementary school, like I'm Joe's Heart, produced by Disney or some Disney-clone? I know this particular film lasted for over an hour, but all I remember from Heart is that, if you must sit for a long period of time now that you've acquired a white-collar job since you've come home from the war, sitting with your feet up helps get the blood back where it belongs: your butt. I also have a somewhat random memory cell imprinted with Goofy telling Mickey he keeps his car tires' air pressure low because he thinks that gives him a softer ride. I believe future Ford and Firestone executives were also raised on this movie.

Anyhow, not to be outdone, the beer industry also has some educational movies out there. Well, OK, I don't know if there are plural movies but the one I found is a fantastic piece of propaganda! I believe it can be summarized thusly: Without beer, civilization would not have happened. Without beer taxes, the government couldn't meet the budget. Without honest folks to serve beer and police themselves, the prude side of the Force will bring another Prohibition. The main thing I learned is that there is a Beer Institute. This lobbying group exists, apparently, to inform the public that the 4th of July is the biggest beer day on the calendar as well as to collect other fascinating beer facts and statistics.

All this pondering about the benefits of beer has made me thirsty. I'm sure it's happy hour somewhere so I'm off to hoist one.

Nothing says "civilization" like a serving tray,
men in ties, and women in hats.

2 comments:

kfluff said...

There may be a connection between these films and the "I'm Joe's kidney" that gets referenced in Fight Club. But don't be going and creating a psychotic alternate personality or anything.

Andrea said...

No worries regarding the development of an alternate personality. I'm a, uh, festive drunk, not a psychotic one.