Brave New World

I have ascended, fair readers, to the ranks of the truly Apple-ized. Yes, I acquired an iPhone exactly 13 days ago (hang on to that, it's an important factoid). I have since been transmogrified into a very hard person with which to live. "Hey! Check this out! Watch this! Isn't this cool?!?" To spare you all the intense proselytizing of the believer all in one posting, I will try to space out my reactions, stories, and ohmygawdisn'tthisamazing comments over several days. Let's start with one now, shall we?

One a-ha! moment in particular happened on Day 2 A.i. (A.i. = After iPhone) when I was cooking dinner. While boiling water to soften the noodles of the day, I was listening to tunes and checking email. In the middle of that multitasking, The T called. The music faded into silence, the iPhone did a little vibrate-thing and the screen identified the incoming caller. I pinched the cord in that fat spot where the mic lives and answered the call. Following the exchange of whatever earth shattering information the call contained, I pinched the fat spot again and the music returned to whence it was. Just two screen taps or so with my stylus finger (formerly known as the index finger) and I was back in the email I was reading. It was truly cool.

Maybe the cool factor was more extreme for me because my computer—and, therefore, my only access to email and the web—is on the second floor of the house. For me to check in on the virtual world, I have to leave the floor of the house where the action happens. Since our 1925 house only has four electrical sockets (one for the waterbed, my computer, The T's computer and a lamp/Mr Coffee/toaster combo), there is no way my computer can move downstairs. But with the iPhone, I was able to check email in the kitchen! Granted, the email I get is along the lines of "check out this skateboarding beaver video" but to me it is important.

There are a number of other How Did I Live Before stories which I'll post as I can get the words in order, but for now let's return to the fact that this is Day 13 A.i. Yesterday, Prophet Jobs, donning the denim and t-neck denoting his high rank, faced his congregation and said, "iPhone price, I slash thee!" Thus, the moaning and wailing began. This is so not how Apple has operated in the past. Usually, the price of an iThing drops right before it falls out of production. I totally didn't see this one coming.

[On the other hand, The T has a history of making me wait before I buy a gadget. The last time she slapped on the Handcuffs of Patience, the price of my desired Palm dropped $100. She was making me wait this time as well but since I wanted to get the gadget before classes started so I could devote every waking moment to playing with it without my classes suffering, I jumped. Yes, I'm hearing about it.]

Well, Apple has a 14-day return policy. Well, I didn't want to return my new favorite iGadget, I just wanted a $200 refund. So I called the Apple Shrine I bought the iPhone at and explained to them, "Timewise, I am within the 14 day window for returns. Physically, I am so far removed from you that only a transporter beam could get me to your store in time to show you my receipt and claim a refund for the price difference." Well, let me tell you, this was the easiest transaction I have experienced in quite a while. All it took was a few rather cryptic numbers from the receipt read over the phone and the next thing I know, I have a new credit card bill emailed to me showing a credit of 200-iBucks.

I didn't think it was possible, but now I like the iPhone even more.