Italy 2008 Days 0-13

Here's the rundown of my recent vacation, gang. Rather than drag this recap out, I will describe only the most salient points.

• Day 0 The Beginning: I was awake before the dawn and a total psychopath regarding getting to the airport on time. Perhaps this is what led to the following incident:

Agent: Oh, you're eligible for an upgrade to business class!
Me: (to The T) What do you think? It's a long flight?
The T: We don't have $1000.
Me: Yes, yes, we do.

And so we flew in business class. We sipped champagne while hoi polloi filed on. I ate grilled lamb at 35,000 feet. And while my nail clippers may have potentially been confiscated by the teen-aged zit-faced TSA agent, I was given real metal silverware with which to terrorize said lamb. The T watched as many movies and TV shows as she could before we laid our seats out fully flat and slept.

My first impression of Rome was made in the shuttle from the airport to the hotel. Rome has an energy not seen in American cities. It was vibrant and loud, bordering on chaotic. With respect to traffic specifically, the lines were a mere suggestion. As many cars as possible filled out the road from curb to curb and any open space was filled by a scooter. Yet as uncontrolled as it appeared, I saw no accidents or close-calls. This was amazing to watch—until I was a pedestrian, forced to be just as aggressive without the protection of a metal shell.

• Day 1 Rome: Walking the city was amazing. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting some art. The Coliseum was cool, the ruins amazing, Trevi Fountain awe-inspiring, and I do not have words for the Pantheon.

• Day 2 On to Arrezzo: Why is it you have to strip naked to get on a plane yet the only uniform I saw in the train station was on the sweeping crew? I understand there is a certain horror surrounding the image of a plane accident but a train disaster is no less deadly or evil, yet you can buy your ticket and find your seat and sit with your wares beside you, non-x-rayed nor handled by another. I began to think this difference in transportation mode security as a symptom of our country rather than a difference in planes and trains. The difference was striking and the population indifferent. Was my surprise at the lack of security obvious to the other people-watching travelers? Regardless, I love trains. The Italian countryside was beautiful and went by all too quickly.

• Day 3–9 At the Villa: The city of Arrezzo is more my speed. Much smaller than Rome with just as much espresso and beer available for the asking. And for wa-a-a-a-y fewer euros. Rome is expensive. Similar to The Economist magazine's method for comparing currencies based on Big Mac worth, I will use beer. A small beer in a Roman cafe cost 8 euros. A similar size beer in Arrezzo cost 5 euros. When we got to the town of Talla, a beer twice the size cost less than 2 euros. Hence, the gang of 11 adults had no problem stocking up on beer and wine for the week we spent together.

M&E picked us up in Arrezzo and drove us to the villa where I stayed ensconced for the rest of the trip. The T went on a day trip to Florence (Bologna had been eliminated as a day trip destination because nobody knows what's in it) but I was content to walk to Talla every day and sip an espresso under the watchful and suspicious gaze of the elderly gang of men.

As I work through my photos and The T's videos, I'll post more details but we had an awesome time. The point to the trip was to celebrate M's birthday and to that end we were quite successful. I heard a goodly number of bawdy rugby songs, witnessed a prank of epic proportions, swam in a pool filled by a mountain spring and was sorry to see it all end.

It's good to be back. I can't wait for the next trip. Stay tuned for more details.

p.s. Frenchie: We now have a collection of euros which show the before and after of Norway's inclusion in the EU and the impact on the imprint of the flaccid penis. Thought of you the whole time.