Everything new is recycled old stuff

What do a scrap of paper, a cable channel, a melon, and an ad campaign all have in common?

From Say No to Crack



From adgoodness


From Grocery Store Wars
I know I posted a link to this movie before. It's worth another post and it helps me prove my point about how patterns just happen if you collect enough stuff.


And finally, to wrap this post up in a nice loop: We started with mention of screenplay retreads and we'll end with comment on the same.

Collect enough stuff and eventually there's a theme

I just blew the dust off a folder on my desktop and was amazed at what appeared. On the bad side, the problem with having 250 GB of storage at your fingertips is that your click-happy fingers will continue to drag-and-drop who knows what all into various nooks and crannies of said gigs. On the not-so-bad side, the benefit of being able to sock away so many bits and bytes is that eventually trends and themes emerge. I grabbed all the following at different times just because they tickled me in just the right way when I saw them.

Today's tour through the hard drive shows us a trend involving former swine.


OK, so our heroine steps up to the machine, presses the button and out pops the prize:


OK, I know that the point of bacon is the fatty goodness*, but that's a bit much. Why not just skip the labor and time involved in cooking that slab up, cut out the middle man, grab a spoon and dig in to this:



*Photo blatantly grabbed off of The Consumerist

!!Updated 5/13/07

Another instance of men in charge?

Do you wonder if models ever think twice about who is signing their checks?

An ad for breast implants from Allergan:


No, I am not shopping around for a mammary upgrade. I simply felt the need to post the image for the sake of discussion.
via Stay Free! via Bitch, PhD

Too much information

Before I turn to my pile of grading, I thought I would bring this tidbit of info: It is illegal for more than the last five digits to appear on any receipt handed to a customer.

Check out the story at the WSJ

Granted the story is coming at you from the angle of YALO (Yet Another Lawyer Outbreak) and mentions the onslaught of class action suits against retailers in order to get them to change their ways. I post it here to inform you, not to encourage you to sue.

You want points for what exactly?

Just came back from a visit at Kfluff's place and I can't say I'm having warm and fuzzy thoughts for the semester folks finishing up out there in Academia. We Meisterquarter Quartermeisters are only 36% of the way through Spring Quarter. The quarter of toil and drudgery. The quarter of daylight saving time when the sun stays up longer than I do. The quarter of "didn't I say that aloud already?"

Things heard in my classroom so far this quarter:

Me: The probability of Event A is 1/4. What is the probability of Event B, given that A has happened?
Student: But we don't know A has happened.
Me: We have the probability it could and will happen.
S: We have no way of knowing if it is going to happen for sure.
Me: And THAT is the definition of probability. We are calculating probabilities, folks, not guarantees.

Oh, I'm just getting warmed up here.....

Me: Are these two events independent or dependent?
Student: point-9-4-5-2
Me: That doesn't answer the question. Independent or dependent?
S: That's what my calculator says.
Me: Sure. Why not? Say another number. I'll tell you that one's right too. Independent or dependent?

And the climax thus far.....

Me: What is that you're drinking there?
Student: A can of Bawllz. I got it in the bookstore.
Me: Is this where I'm supposed to ask what it tastes like?

sigh

I can hardly wait until the pile of grading overwhelming the flat surfaces in my office starts to get handed back and the Begging for Partial Credit begins. I think I'm going to post this movie to my blackboard pages. Yeah, I know it's a viral add but it is named Millimetres Matter and—by golly!—yes they do. You want partial credit? Exactness really does matter even if you don't care. Enjoy the movie. I wonder if the insect division of the ASPCA knows about this.

As long as it's not tuna

File this under "I could have thought have that if I hadn't been busy doing other things."
Brilliant! Bravo!
Oh look! Time for lunch.

Check the algorithm

All you Netflixers out there: beware the recommendations and please oh please oh please share any you experience if they are as funny as this one.
Because Death Wish 3 with Charles Bronson was well received, The Bible Collection: Moses was recommended. I wonder if this version includes the oft-left-out plague of uzis which was tucked in between the locusts and frogs.


From Brief Essays with Pictures

Look what the lint trap snagged today

Just consider me an internet filter feeder, catching all the stuff that might float by otherwise.


Speaking of filter feeders, there's a life size whale caught on the 'net. Complete with sound—and it's not the hokey Partridge Family soundtrack! And yes, your monitor is large enough to show you the whole thing.



Does it bother you when none of the digital clocks in the house agree? Which one is correct when the microwave says 8:05, the coffee maker 8:09, the PDA 8:03, and the car 7:59? Well, swing the time increment pendulum back in the other direction. Ask not what time is it? Rather, ask what day is it?

via Popgadget



Had enough of the rat race? Want to escape from the world, maybe slip into your cave with nothing but a good book? We no longer have to make forts by slinging a bedsheet over the desk, sidetable, and bed.
via knufflebunnah

And we've saved the best for last.

All you fitness folks worried about what a bit of bouncing does to your breasts should click here. Choose your level of activity and cup size and sit back to discover a very good use for digital animation. It's called the bounce-ometer. I don't recall where that falls on the scale: millimeter, kilometer, bounceometer?

Grabbin' at you, grabbin' at you

The call has gone out for desktop images. I blame you, Kfluff.
So here's a little peek into either (a) the desktop of my soul, or (b) the soul of my desktop. Credits/blame provided.

I found this at Andrew Bell's site, creaturesinmyhead.com. His work just speaks to me. I'm not always clear on the message but I keep going back to hear more.


Another voice in my head belongs to sam, from explodingdog.com. He draws based on sentences people send him. I forgot the name of this first one and I deny it resembles my life in any way (note the hammer):


This one is entitled "it's only a string"


Never ones to miss a chance at marketing, the folks at Marvel and DC provided the following:



And they say computers have made our lives more efficient. Hmmm...

What goes up, must come down

Every so often, something happens that makes me think the gods are hanging out watching me on their entertainment center and having a good ol' time. Hermes, hurry up with that mead and get in here! You don't want to miss this! During (or following) such events, the rationalist in me rears up and asks how did that happen? Since the gods are notoriously duplicitous when it comes to 'fessin up to their shenanigans, I look for more rational reasons as to how said event could occur. Empirical evidence is the best way to go, me thinks. Hey, Michaelangelo, do you think the water balloon or the feather will hit Luigi in the head first? Race you to the top of the tower! One of these events happened the other day. And while empiricism rose to the challenge and eventually solved the mystery, the gods were thoroughly entertained in the meantime.

While walking past the Paw Posse's vittle and liquid station, I notice a decidedly odd puddle in front of the water fountain. First of all, it was in front of the bowl. How did it get there? The cat waterer has no oomph or blast feature which makes you think oh, just like the Bellagio so how did the water clear the front of the bowl and the overflow tray it sits on? Furthermore, the water in the dish wasn't the same color as the puddle. The puddle was decidedly less clear. Did it come from under the stove? Is it former ice?

Rainbow Hemp, who was in charge of dinner that evening, said she had no idea where the puddle came from. She was standing at the stove assembling the pizza when she heard dripping and/or splashing. She assumed the fountain had spurt aggressively. Hey, I've got a question? I hear you cry. How do you get your friends to cook dinner for you and when is Rainbow available to cook dinner at our house? I can only solve one mystery at a time, dear friends. Stay focused on the puzzling puddle, please.

It was the color of the liquid that most caught my attention. While it was not that vibrant yellow color usually associated with, say, lemonade or perhaps urine, after living with four felines whose skills of elimination ain't always the best, my interest was piqued. Was this an accident? Worse yet, was it on purpose? Did the ante in the ongoing power struggle within the Paw Posse just get upped? I'll see you your shedding in my sunspot and raise you territorial marking at the food trough. No, that can't be it. Cats are fastidious (see "playing the cello"*) and very finicky about their food (see "Morris"**). There is no way one of the cats would have piddled on purpose just to make a point ... is there? A quick scan with the tricorder determined that it was indeed urine. Since it was not mine, The T's, or Rainbow Hemp's, only the cats were still suspects. But how did it get there without any of us seeing the ... uh ... product placement? And what about the splashing noise Rainbow Hemp heard? As I was wiping up the liquid, a clue fell into my lap—or rather onto the back of my hand: I was dripped on ... from directly overhead!

Meanwhile Manor is a 1925 Craftsman with the remnants of an old heating system still tucked behind the walls and in the ceiling. Right next to the non-functioning chimney shaft above the feeding station is a non-functioning air intake vent covered with a functioning grate ... and it was dripping. I doubt that dripping is the original function of the grate. Was the tale we heard about John Wayne's second wife's sister once owning this house true? Is this the ghost of the Duke's Great Dane punking us by peeing inappropriately? While ignoring a barely audible zeus-like chuckle, I wondered what was above the grate on the second floor? Hmm, the chimney continues up and along the outer wall of the bathroom and in the bathroom is a litter box ... a-HA! I had just passed Mao*** on her way up the stairs when I was coming down.

Mao is a possibly-15-year-old feline of regal stature who rules over the posse with an iron paw. If the furballs under her thumb—er, dew claw ever figure out that she has no claws, her reign may end but in the meantime they fear her condescending looks and menacing growls. This monarch is losing the flexibility needed to squat low enough to hit the box. We've already replaced three of the four litter boxes with newer boxes that have much higher sides. The one that currently resides in the upstairs bath is the last of the low-sided boxes.

I ran upstairs, pulled the litterbox out of the corner and saw what I thought I would and what I didn't really want to: the molding and linoleum were wet, as was the top edge and corner of the litterbox leading to the clump. Always modest, Mao went upstairs to have a private moment, positioned and aimed as best she could and squirted right over the lip of the box. I guess she split the difference and half of her liquid lunch ended up downstairs in front of the water fountain, via the opening from the heating grate. Take that, Hermes!

Let us ignore for a moment the question of what the hell is under the cheap-ass flooring in the bathroom that Mao's deposit circumvented before pouring through the vent, and focus instead on the joy that animals bring to our lives. OK, done with that. Gotta go buy another high-sided box for Her Furness.


Image Index
* cat playing the cello, ** Morris, *** Mao