Overheard...

... in the booth by the window: "How do you have three-quarters of your pizza left when it was cut into sixths?"

Only a couple of geeks could laugh at that, I think. What troubles me is how few people might understand why it was a question in the first place.

Anyway, it has been a truly wonderful time here in The Land of Neverending Parking Lots. Regardless of the time spent in the Apple, Inc. temple and the time spent in the woodworking store and the time spent in the math gadget shop and the time spent in not one but two huge bookstores, the best time is yet to come. The best part of this trip will be that I can drive away from the crowds and the traffic and the sea of asphalt and miles of unused and useless sidewalks and leave this form of humanity's madness behind... with all my loot.

Sent from my iPhone

A New Milestone

It's finally happened: I'm living a statistics joke.

This quarter, I'm teaching a night class for the first time. This requires more organization at my end than I've been used to in the past. It's easy to prep for a 12-week course in a general way and than tweak as the quarter progresses. For instance, plan for 4 exams but leave the dates open. Well, you can't do that when a course only meets 11 times. I realized very quickly that if a student misses a class this quarter, he or she will be in serious trouble. I plan on presenting a chapter per week. The particular chapter may be 5 sections long or 10 sections long. Miss the preview/lecture and fend for yourself.

Well, a student missed the first week of class. Since 90 minutes was spent getting organized, I didn't think this miss was too big of a deal. But I made it very clear to the student that her confessed excuse of "laziness" was not a good idea from this point on. She agreed and was happy to hang on to her seat in the class.

Well, she called an hour before the next class and said she was getting teeth pulled in a few weeks and would probably miss class again so she was going to drop the class.

Yup, she would rather get teeth pulled than take statistics.

A tax on punctuation?!?

In the words of that master songsmith, Tom Lehrer: "It's always seemed to me, after all, that Christmas, with its spirit of giving, offers us all a wonderful opportunity each year to reflect on what we all most sincerely and deeply believe in - I refer, of course, to money."

There may be too many commas in that quote but money is what came to mind while doing some shopping. The purchased items in question are feminine hygiene products versus birth control, popcorn, and juice.

Let's start with the last one, since I know you're curious as all get out about the first one. I'll let the suspense build. The other morning at the local bagel shop, I was considering adding a juice to my regular order of coffee and a bagel. The price for juices was "Market price." Say wha?!? This is juice, not lobster or a bottle of fermented grapes. What is going on? It strikes me as a scam rather than a savvy pricing technique. If the month's receipts look like they're going to be a little light, just charge more for juice. Milk was listed the same way. I know milk and gasoline are both used as measures of inflation and that both have increased at somewhat similar rates over time and that people react more to changes in gas prices—mainly because of the bright neon signs advertising said price on every corner—than they do to milk prices but charging market prices for milk seems so smarmy. Is the milk market so volatile that the price must be kept blank? Are cows in revolt?

Speaking of cows, perhaps I've backed into the reason for market price milk: ethanol, a derivative of corn—which leads us to the next sticker shock story. The price of popping corn has tripled in the past month. The ultimate comfort food cost me $1 per pound the other day. My previous restocking cost only $.35 per pound. This is not the truffle version of popping corn, folks. It is plain old generic yellow, non-organic, throw-me-in-oil-and-shake-the-pot seed. Can the same forces be at work here as they are with the milk? Me thinks so. Everybody is jumping on the ethanol bandwagon and corn is the new farmer's gold. Those of us who don't want our bones snapping when we're 80 or just want a healthy snack are going to pay through the nose 'til the dinosaur juice is truly gone and we all have solar powered amphibious vehicles to tool around on over the surface of the hot drowned planet.

And now to the one you've been waiting for: the cost of feminine protection versus that of birth control. Ready for arithmetic? btw: all prices came from goggle searches and a local medicine cabinet. Tampons cost $0.11 to $0.15 each. Let's say the heroine of our story, Ms. Regular, always has her friend in town for seven days and six of these days require tampons. In one 24-hour window, Ms. Regular goes through six to eight tampons for a grand total of 36 to 48 tampons during the Fun Week. Let's not forget what I like to call the goalie but is better known as the panty liner. These cost $0.14 to $0.16 each. Using six to eight per day, the grand total is 42 to 56 over the course of the week.

Don't worry, I'll do the math for you. Using the lowest prices and the fewest totals, the cheaper end of the scale is $9.84 per cycle, without tax. At the other end of the scale, the grand total is $16.16 per cycle. This is an annual expense of $118 to $194. Meanwhile, over in this corner, we have The Pill which costs $.11 per day ($3 per month, $36 annually), including the placebo week. If refilled earlier to skip the placebo, the cost jumps to a whole $.14 per day, or $51 per year. Now I ask you, since a prescription for the pill is so inexpensive, and it is now considered acceptable and safe to just stay hormonized and skip the whole cycle anyhow, why isn't the whole female world taking the pill!?! You can't tell me chicks haven't been already been getting the refill sooner and skipping the placebo week before it got pharmaceutically trendy.

Count me in for $150 per year in my pocket rather than in my ... oh never mind. I'm shocked. I'm also waiting for the backlash from the economist whackos who similarly argued against high-mileage vehicles: if everyone drove one, the state would have less fuel tax to spend on bridges and what-not. Well, I for one would much rather deny the state the period tax and spend the money on popcorn, thankyouverymuch.

Discuss. Let me know what you come up with.

A Soggy Rube Goldberg

Another life lesson was learned this past week. I'm not exactly sure what the lesson is yet but it involves a garage, gutters, and rain barrels.

The T and I live in a house totally dwarfed by its detached garage. The garage is by far the largest structure in the neighborhood.


Yes, that is three stories of garage you see there. When explaining to folks, friend or stranger, where we live, at some point their faces light up and they exclaim, "Oh, the Taj Garage!" or "The Garage Mahal!" and they know exactly where our house is based on the gravitational pull of this structure. The building has its own fan club. I've taken to calling it the Monolith, ala 2001: A Space Odyssey. And, no, I'm not calling it the monolith just so I can work this cartoon into my post, although I'm happy to do so.

Recently, because we had manual laborers staying with us on their vacation, we decided to get some gutters up on the Monolith. I took this idea one step further and installed some rain barrels to save the water for my summertime ritual of growing my own compost material. This is where the, ahem, plan went awry.

Here's the math portion of the post, sung to the tune of woodchucks chucking wood: how much water could a garage accumulate if a garage could accumulate water? To rephrase the question in our own words so as to help us set up the equation: how much water hits the roof of the Monolith rather than the ground and how many barrels do we need to contain this water? The dimensions of the roof are 30 acres x 30 acres ... no, wait, I'm exaggerating. It's only 30 x 30 feet. So how much water hits this 900 square foot expanse during a drizzle? Well, a 1 inch rainfall results in 129,600 cubic inches of water. For those of you getting thirsty just reading about water, grab a big glass because that's 561 gallons of water! In only one inch of rain!! Do you recall I live in the pacific northwest and not in the atlantic southeast? I'm not praying for rain. I'm cursing the gods for the squish my lawn has 6 months of the year.

But back to our exercise. How many barrels do we need to contain the water? To be as precise as most of my students are when working their exercises: a truckload—and let's go with the big truck. We were feeling all happy with ourselves when we took advantage of the last two days of sunshine to get the gutters up and the barrels in position. We were whacking ourselves on the foreheads when, after a one day drizzle, the barrels were full and the overflow was once again threatening to float the Monolith down the block. We got two more barrels and didn't exactly think through how we were going to connect them to the first pair and so applied some Rube Goldberg logic and went to bed, thinking we'd have some time to trouble-shoot before the barrels were full.

Are we dolts?!? The next morning, thanks to some thick rain, aka: snow, this second set of barrels was full and the overflow was splashing down between us and our cars. Now we have to wade through Lake Overflow to get to the back alley. So let's once again divert the water until we can come up with something. Here's the current solution:


Barrel #1 in the foreground is full and the drainpipe now runs directly to Barrel #2 which is also full. Yes, that is an electrical circuit box you see on the side of the Monolith. Let's not think about Water + Electricity right now. Anyway, the clear tubing runs from the overflow spigot to the extra piece of drainpipe propped up on the barrel which diverts the water off to the property line and allows us to get to the alley and our cars without strapping on life preservers first. Please don't trip over the gutter pipe on your way out of the yard.

I hope the neighbors are enjoying the entertainment we provide.

Is there a collective noun for "numbers"?

I'm pondering if there is a collective noun for numbers, other than the word numbers, course. That would be silly. Digits show up in all different kinds of places and are used in different ways. Is there a term to describe them when they show up on one blog entry?

0: number of times I'd eaten eggs benedict in the last 40 years

1: number of weeks in the fall quarter completed to date
also: number of times a student has asked me this quarter: Exactly what are you drinking?

2: difference between number of students who showed up on day one and the number of chairs in the room that faced the front

3: number of times I've eaten eggs benedict for breakfast in the last two weeks

4: number of minutes it takes me to cross campus from my brand spankin' new office to the room my 8 o'clock class is held in; does not include coffee pick-up

48: number of hours it took to render a digital copy of 5+ hours of Pride & Prejudice, starring His Dimpleness Colin Firth, and move it to my iPhone. Time well spent. Mr. Wickham looks smarmy no matter the screen dimensions.

4663: the simple, elegant and completely wrong answer



And just because it's cool: Zipskinny. Enter your zip code and get some cool census data, like the education level attainment, demographics, income levels and how it compares to neighboring zip codes. Not a bad use for numbers. Whereas "dictionary diving" is a term that refers to the act of getting lost in a dictionary even though you only went in with the intention of finding one word, "digit diving" refers to getting lost in a page a numbers like those on Zipskinny. I'm going to go type in the zips of all the places I've ever lived. Ta for now.

Look what I found

For more info, click the links.

Item 1: What are you doing on August 28th at about 3 A.M. PST? If you're calendar is free, you might want to go outside and watch the moon turn red. No, the rapture hasn't been scheduled. There's going to be a cool eclipse event that turns the moon red instead of rendering it invisible. It will be visible across north America. You east coasters might miss the end because the sun will rise before the event is over but it's still worth getting out of bed for, eh? Don't call me. I'll be outside.



Item 2: Who said math wasn't useful?
Things I have learned from surfing this morning:
1. a handy conversion: 60,000 pieces of card stock = a fractal creation
2. Obsessions come in degrees. My colleagues laughed at me when I finished an online course in record time just to get the free graphing calculator, but I don't think my 4-1/2 day obsession compares to what this woman has done.
3. There is an Institute for Figuring. What a great name. Those of you who took enough math may recall that iff is math shorthand for if and only if. And now IFF stands for this institute as well. Cool. Those of you who know any grammar are twitching right now because the phrase if and only if a preposition ends with. Those of you who have ever traveled to Tatooine know only Yoda can get away with that type of verbage.

Item 3: Is the heat getting to you?
A nice trim might cool you off. And what else are you keeping under that outfit?



Item 4: Stop playing with your food!
What do you get when a number of obsessions collide, one of which is art and another is chocolate? You get edible shoes, that's what. The drool on my keyboard is not because of the heels, I'll tell you that much.

Item 5: I wished I'd known that sooner
Yes, the housing market is cooling—if for no other reason than mortgage companies have created a population of homeless, bankrupt individuals who played the lottery via an adjustable rate mortgage and lost when they couldn't make ends meet (oh, if they'd only paid attention in math class)—yet here are some helpful tips if you're looking to buy.

I love this one: When house hunting don't be too wary of the Harley parked in front of the house across the street, it might turn out to be owned by really friendly lesbians!

Item 6: I need one of these
Nothing like letting your inner geek shine through with a tattoo. Nerd Be Proud.

How do you know when it's done?

Numbs, Numbers, Numbests

Which of these two statements makes you feel like you are throwing money away:

1. Hey, buddy, can you spare a dime?
2. Your airline miles are about to expire.

Follow-up question: when did airline miles become currency?!? And there's more! How do you react to this statement: Expiring Airline Miles Could Cost Consumers $28 Billion. What does that mean? Is this a figure akin to the national debt? Do we all share a portion of this amount? How exactly will future generations feel the impact of a lost $28 billion airline miles?

I thought I was pretty good at kicking around in a virtual landscape, but this has me perplexed. If my mother had misplaced her stack of S&H Green Stamps rather than spend an evening licking and sticking them into little books, would she have felt a loss over their value in merchandise or just regret at missing out on the experience of having the glue pumped from her stomach? (true story; it was quite a stack of stickers) I can function with the S&H function: you earn stickers by buying items A, B, and maybe C and when enough stickers accumulate, they can be redeemed for item D. If you lose the stickers, you can still buy item D and forever wonder if you would appreciate it more if it had cost you only postage and a little indigestion.

I cannot wrap my mind around losing airline miles, let alone get worked up about it. What frosts my chickens, however, is the fact that this virtual currency is taxed! Wow. That is quite a feat. There is nothing we can point to and say, "here is a pile of miles" yet somehow value is attached, calculated, and taxed. I am going to stop rating my dreams on a scale from 1 to 10 lest they be taxed.

Enough of that. I have another virtual number to share. How old are you? No, really. Well, there is more than one answer to that question—and I don't mean your actual age and what anniversary of your 29th birthday you happen to be celebrating. I happen to be 39 if you count only years. If you count other variables like smoking, drinking, stressing, commuting, and laughing, I am only 19 and can look forward to giggling for another 75 trips around the sun. I don't know the formula but I can point you to the Real Age calculator. Have fun and report back, kiddies.

And then they were billed. Last but not least for today, I would like to share with you a blurb regarding the presentation of numbers as brought to you by that bastion of incomprehensibility, the wireless phone industry. Also, mentioning this allows me to bring the iPhone into today's post and isn't that what it's all about anyway? I still do not have my very own but I have been getting enough pleasure vicariously through the stories of those who stood in line. David Pogue (should that be iPogue?) received his first bill and summed it up thusly:

This development illustrates yet another clash between Apple’s typical philosophy of elegance and simplicity—and the unprepared, cluelessness of its cellular partner.

Math in the Wild

Yum. Unnecessary Dairy Overlap. Is it cheese or a pasteurized cheese-food product, ala Kraft slices?

Yes, but when can I sleep in?

Oy. The quarter ended officially yesterday and I have finally come up for air. I say 'officially' because I believe the last thing of any value that occurred in any of my classes took place days—if not weeks—earlier, yet classes kept meeting. Spring quarter is brutal. I have a sense now of how marathon runners feel: once your legs go numb, your feet move out of habit. Well, my head has been numb for quite a while. My lips kept moving.

A sense of how bad things had gotten as we slogged toward the end was when, after a full 7 or 8 weeks into the class, I was still being asked a question that was foremost in the students minds: how many decimals should we round our answers to? I cannot tell you how low on the list of Big Ideas this issue is yet how high it is on the list of Things Asked Today. For the students to feel that the number of decimal places is a Big Idea means that they are missing the truly Big Ideas. For example, if you have just calculated when a water balloon launched from the roof of a 120-foot high platform is going to hit your younger sibling in the head, taking into account initial velocity and initial height while the variables that can really screw things up are mysteriously ignored and absent from the formula, why are you obsessing over the hundredths place versus the thousandths place?

I would much rather the question be something along the lines of "does launch angle matter" or "will it go farther if initial velocity is increased while height is decreased or vice-versa"? But no. Faith in the formula without understanding the elements of said formula trumps all and the fundamentalists do not question the legitimacy of what they have been told. They instead sweep the formula under the rug and obsess over the stem-cell of the math world: decimal place. I contend that this question would take care of itself if the scenario were considered a little more deeply. If you round to the hundredths place or the thousandths place, does not your sibling still get wet?


Ug. Apparently I'm still a little wound up. And I have 3 full inches of grading to get through between today and tomorrow. And today is graduation. Yea. I do like graduation around these parts. This is an area in which getting a degree is not the expected norm and is still an achievement that needs to be properly honored. These students are truly proud of themselves for their educational accomplishments, as are their families. It is not assumed that everyone will ever have a degree around here. Graduation is not merely a task included in my job description. It is a rite of passage that I am happy to be a part of. So, I'm off to grade a little, then don the robes of the academic mucky-muck, and then do something to help me reboot like mow the lawn and whack some weeds.

Math In The Wild

How does a MLB team's salary compare to their record? Realtime visualization with verbage for explanation.


Link

Yes, Officer, I did get the plate number

Link

Public Service Announcement

There was a news story about the danger of WiFi routers being the next source of radiation that is going to kill us all. Wellington has posted his response. I'm surprised he doesn't mention bees, or the lack thereof. Here is only one panel from his graphic commentary:

image from WellingtonGrey.net

What was really curious to me was what I found when I went searching for the news story to which Wellington reacted: the Radiation Protection News Room run by the EPA of the U.S. of A. The mere existence of such a site gives me pause. It's kind of like a myspace page for atoms. Hmmm... It does have a cool logo though.

Do I have to cite the source of the logo? Didn't my taxes pay for it and make me co-owner/co-copyright-holder? I'm sure I'll get an answer if the Snoops ever find my blog. Stay tuned.

My new current favorite web comic

You gotta love a site that says...

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

... and has comics to boot!



Check it out at XKCD

You want points for what exactly?

Just came back from a visit at Kfluff's place and I can't say I'm having warm and fuzzy thoughts for the semester folks finishing up out there in Academia. We Meisterquarter Quartermeisters are only 36% of the way through Spring Quarter. The quarter of toil and drudgery. The quarter of daylight saving time when the sun stays up longer than I do. The quarter of "didn't I say that aloud already?"

Things heard in my classroom so far this quarter:

Me: The probability of Event A is 1/4. What is the probability of Event B, given that A has happened?
Student: But we don't know A has happened.
Me: We have the probability it could and will happen.
S: We have no way of knowing if it is going to happen for sure.
Me: And THAT is the definition of probability. We are calculating probabilities, folks, not guarantees.

Oh, I'm just getting warmed up here.....

Me: Are these two events independent or dependent?
Student: point-9-4-5-2
Me: That doesn't answer the question. Independent or dependent?
S: That's what my calculator says.
Me: Sure. Why not? Say another number. I'll tell you that one's right too. Independent or dependent?

And the climax thus far.....

Me: What is that you're drinking there?
Student: A can of Bawllz. I got it in the bookstore.
Me: Is this where I'm supposed to ask what it tastes like?

sigh

I can hardly wait until the pile of grading overwhelming the flat surfaces in my office starts to get handed back and the Begging for Partial Credit begins. I think I'm going to post this movie to my blackboard pages. Yeah, I know it's a viral add but it is named Millimetres Matter and—by golly!—yes they do. You want partial credit? Exactness really does matter even if you don't care. Enjoy the movie. I wonder if the insect division of the ASPCA knows about this.