Wish I'd said that

In addition to my "things that moved me" collection of images from the web* that have accumulated on my harddrive, bits are also lost to the large volume of comic strips that flood my inbox on a daily basis. I am often amazed at the artists' talent for condensing a huge issue into a panel that cuts to the heart of the matter. Think: political or editorial cartoons. On the other hand, I also love how a single line can be given an entire back-story and fleshed out in a mere three panels. Think: the daily comics section of the newspaper. Ones that make me think or make me laugh or make me think I should have laughed or that I laugh at when instead I should be thinking are stored in a folder called Digital Bliss.
*= updated 5/13/07

Very often, it is a punchline from one of these comic strips that becomes my mantra for the week, the phrase I will mumble to myself when the silver lining of the cloud reveals itself to be an array of one thousand sharpened razor blades poised to rain down on me. I would like to share one of these with you now. In an effort to hold the copyright lawyers at bay, I will only post the final panel and provide the preceding panels as text.
(Note: if this blog ever goes viral the chances that one reader in the surfing horde is a copyright lawyer with an expertise in syndication rights are pretty good and I'm not willing to flirt with that form of disaster right now.)

From: Agnes by Tom Cochran
Agnes: When I'm really looking forward to something, it never turns out as great as I had imagined. And when I'm really dreading something, it's never as bad as I had imagined.

Everything new is recycled old stuff

What do a scrap of paper, a cable channel, a melon, and an ad campaign all have in common?

From Say No to Crack



From adgoodness


From Grocery Store Wars
I know I posted a link to this movie before. It's worth another post and it helps me prove my point about how patterns just happen if you collect enough stuff.


And finally, to wrap this post up in a nice loop: We started with mention of screenplay retreads and we'll end with comment on the same.

Collect enough stuff and eventually there's a theme

I just blew the dust off a folder on my desktop and was amazed at what appeared. On the bad side, the problem with having 250 GB of storage at your fingertips is that your click-happy fingers will continue to drag-and-drop who knows what all into various nooks and crannies of said gigs. On the not-so-bad side, the benefit of being able to sock away so many bits and bytes is that eventually trends and themes emerge. I grabbed all the following at different times just because they tickled me in just the right way when I saw them.

Today's tour through the hard drive shows us a trend involving former swine.


OK, so our heroine steps up to the machine, presses the button and out pops the prize:


OK, I know that the point of bacon is the fatty goodness*, but that's a bit much. Why not just skip the labor and time involved in cooking that slab up, cut out the middle man, grab a spoon and dig in to this:



*Photo blatantly grabbed off of The Consumerist

!!Updated 5/13/07

Another instance of men in charge?

Do you wonder if models ever think twice about who is signing their checks?

An ad for breast implants from Allergan:


No, I am not shopping around for a mammary upgrade. I simply felt the need to post the image for the sake of discussion.
via Stay Free! via Bitch, PhD

Too much information

Before I turn to my pile of grading, I thought I would bring this tidbit of info: It is illegal for more than the last five digits to appear on any receipt handed to a customer.

Check out the story at the WSJ

Granted the story is coming at you from the angle of YALO (Yet Another Lawyer Outbreak) and mentions the onslaught of class action suits against retailers in order to get them to change their ways. I post it here to inform you, not to encourage you to sue.

You want points for what exactly?

Just came back from a visit at Kfluff's place and I can't say I'm having warm and fuzzy thoughts for the semester folks finishing up out there in Academia. We Meisterquarter Quartermeisters are only 36% of the way through Spring Quarter. The quarter of toil and drudgery. The quarter of daylight saving time when the sun stays up longer than I do. The quarter of "didn't I say that aloud already?"

Things heard in my classroom so far this quarter:

Me: The probability of Event A is 1/4. What is the probability of Event B, given that A has happened?
Student: But we don't know A has happened.
Me: We have the probability it could and will happen.
S: We have no way of knowing if it is going to happen for sure.
Me: And THAT is the definition of probability. We are calculating probabilities, folks, not guarantees.

Oh, I'm just getting warmed up here.....

Me: Are these two events independent or dependent?
Student: point-9-4-5-2
Me: That doesn't answer the question. Independent or dependent?
S: That's what my calculator says.
Me: Sure. Why not? Say another number. I'll tell you that one's right too. Independent or dependent?

And the climax thus far.....

Me: What is that you're drinking there?
Student: A can of Bawllz. I got it in the bookstore.
Me: Is this where I'm supposed to ask what it tastes like?

sigh

I can hardly wait until the pile of grading overwhelming the flat surfaces in my office starts to get handed back and the Begging for Partial Credit begins. I think I'm going to post this movie to my blackboard pages. Yeah, I know it's a viral add but it is named Millimetres Matter and—by golly!—yes they do. You want partial credit? Exactness really does matter even if you don't care. Enjoy the movie. I wonder if the insect division of the ASPCA knows about this.

As long as it's not tuna

File this under "I could have thought have that if I hadn't been busy doing other things."
Brilliant! Bravo!
Oh look! Time for lunch.

Check the algorithm

All you Netflixers out there: beware the recommendations and please oh please oh please share any you experience if they are as funny as this one.
Because Death Wish 3 with Charles Bronson was well received, The Bible Collection: Moses was recommended. I wonder if this version includes the oft-left-out plague of uzis which was tucked in between the locusts and frogs.


From Brief Essays with Pictures

Look what the lint trap snagged today

Just consider me an internet filter feeder, catching all the stuff that might float by otherwise.


Speaking of filter feeders, there's a life size whale caught on the 'net. Complete with sound—and it's not the hokey Partridge Family soundtrack! And yes, your monitor is large enough to show you the whole thing.



Does it bother you when none of the digital clocks in the house agree? Which one is correct when the microwave says 8:05, the coffee maker 8:09, the PDA 8:03, and the car 7:59? Well, swing the time increment pendulum back in the other direction. Ask not what time is it? Rather, ask what day is it?

via Popgadget



Had enough of the rat race? Want to escape from the world, maybe slip into your cave with nothing but a good book? We no longer have to make forts by slinging a bedsheet over the desk, sidetable, and bed.
via knufflebunnah

And we've saved the best for last.

All you fitness folks worried about what a bit of bouncing does to your breasts should click here. Choose your level of activity and cup size and sit back to discover a very good use for digital animation. It's called the bounce-ometer. I don't recall where that falls on the scale: millimeter, kilometer, bounceometer?

Grabbin' at you, grabbin' at you

The call has gone out for desktop images. I blame you, Kfluff.
So here's a little peek into either (a) the desktop of my soul, or (b) the soul of my desktop. Credits/blame provided.

I found this at Andrew Bell's site, creaturesinmyhead.com. His work just speaks to me. I'm not always clear on the message but I keep going back to hear more.


Another voice in my head belongs to sam, from explodingdog.com. He draws based on sentences people send him. I forgot the name of this first one and I deny it resembles my life in any way (note the hammer):


This one is entitled "it's only a string"


Never ones to miss a chance at marketing, the folks at Marvel and DC provided the following:



And they say computers have made our lives more efficient. Hmmm...