Now let's define our abbreviations

I believe the S in iPhone 3G S stands for shorter, not speedier. I may change my mind whence I acquire my own but for right now, here's my evidence:


Found at MacRumors.

iYiyi

What is the fascination with bacon? Bacon wallets. Bacon band-aids. And now iBacon for your iPhone. I am verklempt.


from Gizmodo

Technology update

Not only has the iPhone broken barriers in the number of mobile phoning pholks and inappropriate web-surfing behaviors in social settings, it has opened up new vistas of humor. I would like to enter the following exhibits into the official record:





I'm off to work on my halloween costume (can you guess what I'm dressing as? hint: not a hammer) and acquire the Fisher-Price phone sound to use as my ringtone.

Available over WiFi, you say?

Add "and tastes great" to the list of iPhone features.

Found at Macenstein via MacRumors

I've been updated

Thank you, St Steve, for releasing the new gadgets in July when I am not teaching classes full-time and can devote all my hours to scrolling and pinching and downloading and playing and ... and ... forgetting to eat and giving up bathing and ignoring the litterboxes. For two years in a row, July has been a lost month.

What a good time to be alive.

Some of you may have noticed the addition of a Twitter link on this page (it's at the left, see it?). I started Twittering in a feeble attempt to fend off the junkie twitching I was going through leading up to July 11th, Day of iUpdate. Now I'm not sure what to do with Twitter. I read somewhere that tweets fill the moments between blog posts. I'm wondering if you really want to know that I'm picking grass out from between my toes because I tried to mow the lawn barefooted. I find myself hesitating to tweet because of an information overload at the readers' end. How much is too much?

I am interpreting my hesitation as a sign of my age—my actual age, not the age I live in. Younger pups behind me are all about the tweets and the umpteen other forms of filling in every silent moment when they are supposedly alone with themselves. I wonder if they hesitate to post anything or worry about approaching inanity. I wonder how they define inanity.

I follow two tweeters (I'm not even sure if that is the correct title) who I think creatively use Twitter and avoid inanity and overload. One is sockamillion, who is linked in my sidebar. The post that sucked me in was "A plastic bag! Quick! Everyone this way before it gets us all!" If you've never seen a cat inadvertently back out of a bag with handles via a different route than it went in, then you have no idea what you're missing and a certain edge to sockamillion's fear is dulled. sockamillion is by no means overload (one a day) and is definitely funny (I've got to get into the basement. RIGHT. NOW.) The tweeter has a balance of funny and just enough. Another Tweet I follow is posted by a woman who posts only in haiku. I appreciate the challenge in that.

But what could I possibly tweet about that is valuable in some way—and I'm open to very broad interpretations here. My hesitation and nervousness regarding inanity has brought my blogging to a halt as well. Why say anything? (Is it possible the narcissist in me has low self-esteem?) Who cares? Well, with 3,000+ hits on this page in three years either one very, very, very obsessive individual checks in on my ramblings or a few dedicated souls or many, many, many random clickers.

So I'm off to ponder more about where my definition of "too much" falls. And—of course—to check up on the latest batch of iPhone Applications.

Move over, Jetsons

I've had my iPhone for six months now and it has transformed my life in a myriad of ways, the least of which is the ability to blog from bed ... or the quilt store ... or aisle 5 of the Ho' Depot. My evolution underwent another step just the other day as I went to make up a grocery list.

But first, a little back-story. Maintaining and updating a grocery list has always been a challenge for the household. I used to keep it on my Palm pda. Whenever an item was needed, I would fire up the grocery program and check off the Need box. While shopping, I could fill in details like the aisle and the price of said item. Noting like some data collection to make the chore more chore-like. Well, since the iPhone came along, I have a noticeable shortage of pockets. Since I refuse to wear cargo pants or strap on a utility belt ala Officer Friendly, something had to go and the pda was booted. This made the most sense since my wallet resides in my other pocket. I no longer have my Palm on my person at all times so the grocery list was no longer always available.

There was also the little detail of how The T would add things to the list. We tried many things like a paper and pencil list on the wall or on the fridge or on the table or every place else where it would either be lost or misplaced or accidentally recycled after it was used as a coaster. I would add the items to the digitized list when I saw them accumulate. Well, most of the time I did. This issue of The T's access to the list was never fully resolved.

Recently, the list became a pile of labels. For instance, all the tea ran out at the same time. Yup, I couldn't believe it either. The boxes for lemon zinger, honey lemon ginseng, oolong, evening delight, rooibos, and that other one all came up empty at the same time. (I wonder if the grrllzz mistake the tea for catnip during their midnight sojourns.) Rather than spend valuable time writing down all those multi-word names, I simply tore the box-tops off the boxes and piled 'em up on the counter. When I told The T it was my new way of creating the shopping list, she walked over and set a banana peel on the pile. The flaw in the design of the list was immediately apparent.

So now we've arrived at my latest solution for grocery list creation, thanks to the iPhone. When the last of an item is plucked from the shelf or when the milk jug goes empty, I simply take a picture of it with the phone. I am slowly creating the ultimate in iconized food lists. I'm also sorting the pictures using folders for Need and Not Need. I can transfer the photos to the appropriate folder as the pantry grows empty or the cart grows full. The iPhone has become the iPhood.

"How does The T access this list?" I hear you cry. Well, just this very morning she realized we needed bananas and apples and bread and I had not taken any photos of the last specimens in the house. She surfed the net for images of said items and emailed them to me. Well, OK she tried to email them to me. This plan worked right up until her pc realized she was trying to save a picture of the rainbow-striped Apple logo and crashed. So, she sent a picture-free email listing the items and I surfed the net for said images and took pictures of them on the screen.

It's a wonder we were ever able to get food into the house before the iPhone.

Stuck on the Dark Side

When the Jedi Steve teamed up with the Dark Side to get a revolutionary new light saber, phone, iPod, email and web surfing device to the minions, I thought those who think different could rejoice. I thought maybe those consumed by evil could be convinced to close the Windows and come around to the side of good. Apparently I rejoiced too quickly. Here's a shot from inside a Death Star franchise:


Found at Gizmodo

Numbs, Numbers, Numbests

Which of these two statements makes you feel like you are throwing money away:

1. Hey, buddy, can you spare a dime?
2. Your airline miles are about to expire.

Follow-up question: when did airline miles become currency?!? And there's more! How do you react to this statement: Expiring Airline Miles Could Cost Consumers $28 Billion. What does that mean? Is this a figure akin to the national debt? Do we all share a portion of this amount? How exactly will future generations feel the impact of a lost $28 billion airline miles?

I thought I was pretty good at kicking around in a virtual landscape, but this has me perplexed. If my mother had misplaced her stack of S&H Green Stamps rather than spend an evening licking and sticking them into little books, would she have felt a loss over their value in merchandise or just regret at missing out on the experience of having the glue pumped from her stomach? (true story; it was quite a stack of stickers) I can function with the S&H function: you earn stickers by buying items A, B, and maybe C and when enough stickers accumulate, they can be redeemed for item D. If you lose the stickers, you can still buy item D and forever wonder if you would appreciate it more if it had cost you only postage and a little indigestion.

I cannot wrap my mind around losing airline miles, let alone get worked up about it. What frosts my chickens, however, is the fact that this virtual currency is taxed! Wow. That is quite a feat. There is nothing we can point to and say, "here is a pile of miles" yet somehow value is attached, calculated, and taxed. I am going to stop rating my dreams on a scale from 1 to 10 lest they be taxed.

Enough of that. I have another virtual number to share. How old are you? No, really. Well, there is more than one answer to that question—and I don't mean your actual age and what anniversary of your 29th birthday you happen to be celebrating. I happen to be 39 if you count only years. If you count other variables like smoking, drinking, stressing, commuting, and laughing, I am only 19 and can look forward to giggling for another 75 trips around the sun. I don't know the formula but I can point you to the Real Age calculator. Have fun and report back, kiddies.

And then they were billed. Last but not least for today, I would like to share with you a blurb regarding the presentation of numbers as brought to you by that bastion of incomprehensibility, the wireless phone industry. Also, mentioning this allows me to bring the iPhone into today's post and isn't that what it's all about anyway? I still do not have my very own but I have been getting enough pleasure vicariously through the stories of those who stood in line. David Pogue (should that be iPogue?) received his first bill and summed it up thusly:

This development illustrates yet another clash between Apple’s typical philosophy of elegance and simplicity—and the unprepared, cluelessness of its cellular partner.

iY-Yi-Yi

The iPhone has been out for almost two weeks now and while I still don't have my own, I feel the need to contribute to the mayhem.

First up: my newest iPlacebo. The paper one wasn't cutting for me anymore, especially not after Three sat on it with her furry butt. I upgraded to this one which is a little more durable and has a feature even Mr. Jobs' gadget doesn't have:


Here are the directions, in case you want to make your own. I used licorice Altoids since the tin is already colored similar to the iPhone.

And while I was cutting and taping I was humming the tune to "I Want an iPhone". Way to go, Mr. Pogue.

So here I sit, phondling my iPlacebo while lots of other folks have been intentionally destroying iPhones. This is killing me. Every time one is lost, I feel a disturbance in the Phorce*.



I am so copyrighting the word Phorce right now!

iCall therefore iSheep?

I just noticed my previous iPhone post was mis-titled. Apparently I was so distraught about not obtaining an iPhone on iDay that I forgot how to count. It should have been titled iDay +1.

My iPlacebo is starting to lose its power of ... of ... placebo-ness. The Force is strong in this new Apple gadget. This is the phone I'm looking for (picture Obi Wan waving hand while doing Jedi mind trick).

... must ... resist ... urge ... to ... buy ... online ... willpower ... growing ... weaker ... want ... to ... click ... want ... to ... join ... mob ...

iDay +2

Those of you who know me and know of my particular XA chromosomal makeup, aka: the homo apple configuration, may be wondering why my blog has been empty of iPhone posts. As the deadline for release of the latest iGadget came and went, this here space was oddly (?) missing any mention.

In my defense, all I can say is that there is no way I could have posted anything worth saying that hasn't been posted someplace else already. Let me show you what I mean.

TIME/CNN: I Take the iPhone Home
UK/Reuters: Some people can buy iPhone without the 2-year contract
iPhone-iPod.org
everythingipod.com: The revolution has started
iPhonenews.com
CNN/Money: A Tale of Woe
Mercury News: I Got the iPhone (and the Steves (Jobs and Wozniak) joined the party!)
C|Net News.com: Palm expects iPhone effect
Newsday.com: Behind the iPhone Frenzy (I don't know how could they pass up "iPhrenzy")
Forbes.com: Philadelphia Mayor gets iPhone
Reuters/India: Apple iPhone launch draws gadget geeks and hired help

You see my point? What could I, a lowly branch on the Apple tree, possibly add to the conversation? Gizmodo alone has 100+ posts about the iPhone, the people in line, the dude first in line in SoHo who doesn't even know what he is in line for, the accessories, what people are wearing in line, the updating of the Apple Store windows in preparation for the 6 PM launch, the onboxing of iPhones, the dismantling of a sacrificial iPhone (please tell me you bought 2!!!), the synching of iPhones, the typing on iPhones, the stupid talking TV head who flubbed using the iPhone live on the air, and even (drumroll) an iCake!!!

via Flickr

I confess that I did download and construct a paper iPlacebo to get me through until I do buy an iPhone.













It's been fun to watch this carnival from the sidelines. You'll hear plenty from me when I have my very own.

Come the Rapture, can I have your iPhone?

The date has been announced: June 29th is the iDay! Thank the stars the iPhone is coming out after school is done for the year. Granted, I am now torn between jumping on the bandwagon and waiting a whole entire week or two until iPhone 2.0 is released with four times the memory, an additional megapixel or two in the camera, and a towel boy to—oh, never mind.

While we're waiting, here's a few tidbits to get us through. Don't mind the crumbs while I (continue to) graze on party leftovers.

DO NOT LET SMALL CHILDREN WATCH THIS VIDEO
Considering that the movie Nemo led to schools of fish being, uh, released by their juvenile overlords, it might be best if the little ones were not in the room while your watched this video. You gotta love the progress meter though, eh?


Time for Mind Expansion, via xkcd.com


I'm off to graze in the leftover paradise known as the fridge. Y'all have a good morning/afternoon/evening.

That drip you hear is drool hitting the keyboard

Link: MacRumors

Choose your model carefully

In an effort to contribute to the iPhone iPhrenzy that is sweeping the world ... maybe just the U.S. ... definitely my house, I offer the following photo (dr&dr-ed from PhoneDaily.com):



If Apple had not chosen the hand model used in their ad with such attention to magnificent sensuality, I would not be packing my overnight bags for my camp out in front of the Apple Store on iPhone iEve. The knock-off's hand model looks like he's allergic to shellfish or something. What is wrong with your thumb, dude?

dr&dr-ed: past tense abbreviation for drag-and-drop